Since my days in youth in hope , I have always been asking this question to god "Why I faced challenges tougher that anyone."People who know my life will agree. They tell me this most of the time "god let you experience it first so that in the future you can help other or impact them"

To me , sometime I am really not convicted .The reason is one man can impact . But many men impact more.I see people I impacted left one by one.How I felt ? Sometime words cant describe the feeling .

I told Kai en .i told him i feared to impact in the CG. The reason is sometime I felt that the strength i have sometime quite unless.As people who are close to me will then leave me .I not blaming them or what . I told kai en , I dont want to make another person leave the group .Obvious the right thing to do is to enocourage me .It true that what he did .I really took a while for me to stand after recieved the impact from mich and ray case.

But i managed some how .So i started to spend time with ck wanting to impact.Till now i can said I did hit my objective , as i see changes in his life .But he leaving . So what the conclusion ? Haiz.
All three left because of the group,that why i say even how great is my strength to impact .I will still lose to a group impact. Sorry this post ,it a little emo .

It a little self-pity i guess. haha sorry to those who dont understand this post.But if you want to understand it possible .Spend 5 mins to go to my level .=)
10:47:00 PM