Yesterday had my shepherding with Andrew .....Time spend not that fruitful as i am a little tired ....But i think i am stumble by wat he said .My heart was like Stunned and it is long ever since i felt that way .I can say my shepherd is very understand as he bother to choose to listen to how you felt , thinked for a while before he continue the conversation .

I am disappointed by something in my heart . I was like thinking what crap is this ah ?? Not funny la !!! i will say maybe my EQ a bit too high that why if i compare the way something are done is not really wise . Haha But nevertheless THANK god i am recovering . If not I will say BRING IT ON and challenge me in human relation lol
"Not trying to say i am ver good ,but better"

But in life , there a many disappointment if not that is not life ....haha ....Btw i hate doing thing when i am not doing ver well or i can say recovering a bit turn off . Ppl who are doing well wat you doing ah lol or many ppl not doing well LOL

A phrase for my audience " The most expected will be the most unexpected" This will prevent all of you from stumbling from things you see , faced or heard .=)

( Warning I not aiming at any problem or person or group .I had filter many parts le .If you wan to know what really happened then ask me .It is just a room to share what going on in my life LOL )
10:21:00 AM

My bible had been repaired thx to Jaslyn=) Love it lots hehe it can be a bday present to me heheeh =)

8:57:00 PM

As i said , i thinked it is my last post .
But who know ....come to think of it ...blogging it like almost the only way to share my thou le ....i hate to filter my words as it is the truth ...And truth hurt that for sure ....

Shared someting about me , i not as close to god as before ... but i wan to be close....I can say i only recovered 20% only

But if you wan to tear me down you have to bear the conquences after that ...One the other hand i will try not to be tear down ...

For example i choose to do thing to stumble you and you choose to be stumble that is both parties fault.But i choose not to be stumble that the other party fault le .

if not i will say build me with love .

Thank god i brought that book ....one that day i just felt i need to buy it ...It about leadership

Spirtual life is like a wall to protect our life ......I hurt alot when i read it .....Seeing how much i have fallen .

But who care haha it only fall wat haha ...
( it abit stumbling pretend you nv read if it will effect you )

But i thank god for some ppl in my lives ... i will not say name here it in my heart ... you may just say two words to me " jia you " But it encouraged me a lot ....I dont need 1o series.... i read the bible as story book i also know haha
5:57:00 PM

Haha i think this will be my last post of the year ......i wonder where can i share my thoughts and feeling beside god .....a few ppl but they are busy ppl you know haha ....


Got a few words ----For jas ,if you feel the same way as me ...I wan you to be part of the process of creating what is call a spirtual family ....Interesting right ? It true one man can change the world but it is also true that a team can change many worlds ....=)

Also to ppl who felt the same ways .... The process is nv easy ... But the result it something that will last forever ...God will carry us if we allow ...Tell you the truth i also hate the process .But it is the process which also us to be closer with god ....haha

To people who what me to open my life to you ---- It a process too thx for your understand ....Hint: Action speak louder than words =)

To whole of rp unit......One of our weakness is that we did not think before speaking ....I will say that is mine nowaday as i dont see the value .....But if you really wan to see ppl love this family we have to change as a whole ...Hmmm there is another weakness , which is we must be more observant about other ppl needs .....We need to improve in our observation skills =)
12:05:00 AM

Service was great ......haha did some reflection haha about taking ownership of ppl spirtual well being haha and the caregroup....For me personally how i wish i can just take ownership of the things i wan to . For me i have not no one under my care but all the unconneted one if you ask me sian a not i will say sure la ....It like soloing again haha ...I really can say god really work through me if only i allow . haha

I am amazed by god how he used me to speak to someone important to me =) Rp unit became so small this week i really wonder why .....I want to ask whole of Rp unit how important is your cg to you . For me as you read my post it not as important to me le ....But i will say i will place it first still because only this family will last ... It true i felt this is not really a spirtual family but i wan to be in the process in create one not by name .But by the family action toward one another .

Sometime i wonder what is happen around me which is unseen ...I am quite busybody ...It good to an extent as i ask a lot but i keep something it free- will if ppl share to you .So i am ok with it ...At least i bother to ask. There a reminder for me during service = god meet your need you meet other .It true but how many ppl bother to meet other haha comfort zone ??? I don't know ? haha
12:26:00 PM

wahhh today ate curry fish head malay style for dinner ..... go home "toliet " think i got gastric sia .... Parents like saying still dare to order chill stuffs . I was like i miss my chills lol haha sian ..haha
11:38:00 PM

At last first week of sch had ended ,I am super tired .I will say stressing soon .All my team like funny one .All like waiting for each other to lead .Craps I like led for first 2 days and it is not bad only got aim my faci ....haha to faci ask many questions ...To be i find it good as i will improve in my defending skills haha but i thinking i am tiring in defending .Haha waste of time ...But it a skill lol

But today class ended quite early ....Which was good ....Haha One question popped out in my mind today .Why am i a Christian ? Being a free-thinking isnt that cooler .And What is meant by Supporting ? haha I super tired haha I told someone i give myself one month before redeciding in this race or out .That also depend if i dare a not . Haha god showed me thing that i am unexpected le.Let see how many more ......Will i followed the ppl of those leave this group footsteps ??? ....God.. i will see =)

hahaha I felt all alone sometime.....haha I will said I love my family ...They are the one who provided the support i need haha if you based it on men to men ......Spirtual family ... it really depend haha if spirtual family as a whole i say it almost mean nothing to me now ...I treasure ppl as individual now haha as a spirtual family not really as ppl come ppl go....haha Why do i need a spirtual family when i have a family and god with me ....if you say spirtual family help you grow i agree to an extent and i say it bullshit too ...haha do i felt like a tool to other ...i will felt that sometime haha....The funny thing is i having mixed feeling half postive and half negative ....
3:50:00 PM

I am boring ..................................I am tired .......... The mind is almost dead ..................Limited Break .....gg
5:28:00 PM

LoL I in school .....lesson is so dumb lol expection so high sia ..maybe i am not good lol haha So many thing is going in my life .....haha it not i dont wan share .....there is sure fears in me when i open my life to other . After share le like all my fault lol if WWJD is not to share i would me more happy .

Ha ha I like so random , talk about school then changed.Today there something interesting that happen .Xiuzhen dropped me a sms "Your road maybe twisited and long .But you gotta keep going on . If you stumble and fall ...dont give up at all ...If you feel low god is here with you " .It is just a sms but i said it came just in time to confort me .

How do we understand men ? It about goin down to their level to understand them. haha come to think of it how you know someone spiritually not doing well .It his/her actions. I think i too open le haha the No CLs in guys group haha cool but it ok I will see wat can i do ...But i see how long can do haha if not I join NP cg try Stopping if you have the power in my life hahaa i might change my mind .haha miss someone ....haha
3:07:00 PM

Wow today was any interesting day ...at last i took up the courage to share to Andrew what is going on in my life ....I super fearful la ....but at the end i choose to share ...

I share about the areas i struggling now , Trust , Faith Etc haha Sometime i can say i very weak haha it a bit like self-pity but i do faced that too only a while .

When i was young i dont have much self -confidence as in the things i doing . I am always very negative too if you ask ppl my first few shepherd they will all agreed haha but i can say this area had been improving a lot haha the reason is .. the confidence it from god lol

And i will say the most hated test god give me is the test of "obedience"

Is like all the 10 years series lay down in your face and ask you ? HMMMM obeying ? lol



"The two weeks thing " haha dont ask what is that ? if i share to you good if not just pray for me thank =)

Do i wan to Obey ? Hmmmmmm really ah if you ask me i will say "NO" le

I dont wan to obey Wah wahwah dont wan God can i just fail the test lol Fail only wat

I will say it in my Confort Zone and it something i dont wan to Lose haha



But come to think so it ...it may or may not resulted in a lose:lose situation



But again the Win:Win looked greater to me haha I will say "Because you say so I will "It really not easy sia WHy ? you will ask ?? I think ppl who know will know why LOL



I think i will write a long eassy why am i obey ?for myself and maybe to my sheperd haha



I noticed my blog rarely got happy things haha If this post stumble you Thank god I nv stumble more .... I am a human after all =)



I missed My SB "Gary Mokky "haha I will make him popular here LOL
11:19:00 PM

Random photos .....if you wan to know how my day ? can sms or msn me thx =)











11:12:00 PM