Wow interesting ....When i stress here come a reminder service lol ....Hmmmm Wanted to ask person who are working what the reasons for working . Is your reasons blameless before god If you are? great .Next question is that did you ask god is it the right timing for you to work? .haha i wonder why cant i have a conviction to work . What is the something that stop me from choosing work ?

haha my parents just ask me to work ....I just say i cant due to some reasons...They said church ppl right ?? I was like errrrr??? My mind was like having conflicts everyday plz ...Ppl stress about work i stress about going to find work .... What a joke can ??

In sch , during culture lesson , i learn one of the factors that change ppl character is the environment . Which is true in my case ... The pressure is is so strong now ... ppl are just working and doing ministry at the same time why cant I .It just so unfair just to do thing to meet the need of ppl who choose to work .I am human too can not perfect .

In the past , ppl give up many things for cg , now cg must meet ppl need .Why am i seeing less ppl doing so ....does the value of god's kingdom so small?? I am like thinking ppl said that i give up his cca for god kingdom very good here and there .To me it meanless , if you don't do so .I dont need to boost about this .Cause i just show an example that we show me ready to give up thing for god . That year was really a struggle i really love that sport .
Quite disappointed sometime we i see ppl not choose god what can i do .....How i hope i can have the conviction to do thing i want to do .

haha TO me come to think for it , christian who want to make a different are stressful ppl haha
Why ? Because everything they do it about decision -making .Pleasing god or dont .

At my aunt house ppl like keep on asking "your sch got waterpolo " Why you dont join back ?
I said training tough ... haha my heart was like how tough can it be i saw the training before it not as tough compare to my high school days

haha interesting thing is that more and more cousin is getting attached. I meeting on of my cousin bf later for lunch funny right but i am quite concern .haha as usually ppl is asking when am I getting soon LOL

For this case , i know what i want so pressure is not as great lol

What am i doing for today

10am to 12
Swimimng (maybe longer)
230 pm to 330 pm
Lunch with cousin
After that go aunt house wait for cousin to come back help him in Math
1:37:00 AM

Haha this few days cant really sleep well .... like so many things in mind . Like who is the one taking charge of the group ...Are CLa suppose to take charge ???? What are the roles of CLa ? Supporting the CL or more ? So many ppl are working why am i not ? Sometime i want just to do things i want to do .Find a service jobs gets experiences , get attached , train people who have a teachable heart and not patiently encourage them to have .

I can say i a bit mis focus this few weeks . Tell you the truth who want to be CL? if you dont have the heart at all .If it is for personal gain you took up that role is super dumb . . I can say i can impact chirstian without that name "CL" To me , it just a name there is nearly no meaning to it .

Am i excited to go service hmmm nowaday i really have to think ? What is shepherd and sheep ? It mean a lot to me in the past . Now it almost meaningless ...Should we account to your shepherd ? yes we should but be wise . Know your shepherd well b4 accounting to them ...Dont account blindly !! It more toward responsibilities than toward care and concern here it is true ? I think depend .Ask yourself why you want to be a shepherd ? And why you want to take care of god 's flock ? The reason why am i here today
1) I ask myself a lot of questions (To understand why i do what i do )
2) Remember how faithful is god in my life
3)Knowing that you are living a life with god not for god

Do i have Holy discontentment ? I have but i abit sick and tired or having tat so getting rid of it soon .But come to think of it .If you love god it is no possible to get rid of it lol .....

I dont think this post will stumble anyone ...

Stephen From Y-RP
11:06:00 AM