Stephen

2010-03-24T01:22:00.002+08:00

Seed camp 2010
Cultivate strong seed , create new seed

It was mind blowing and heart-warming .

It allowed me to me more convicted why i want to be and build godly men for god .

What does it mean when you let god take control of your life.

1)God know your faults and failure ,but do you believe he still loves you unconditionally
2)God know your hurt and frustration, do you believe he sees your hurt more than anyone else
3)God know your future , so that he can tell you what you need to know
4)God know your fear and want you to hand your worries over to him
5)God know your faithfulness because he see every good things in you

2010-01-15T19:07:00.003+08:00

hahah today woke up , fear that my keyboard screw up during ut ...So decidedto bring my cooler along to school .During class , one of my classmates lap's fan spoils .... I wonder to myself should i lend to keep for myself ...end of the day i decide to lend .... I prayed that my fear will not come to pass...

Before ut , I am not worry at alone . When the ut key appeared , i type it down . Next i started working on the question , when I types the first letter for the first question. The keyboard screw up .Holy shit !! What will your respond be ?? God Thank ah !! hahah

I tell you my confidence is always crush my him like that .... Sometime i wonder why bother to work so hard whereby god said , i screw you I just screw lor you just need to accept. Sometime I really tough sia .

This is when god failed you what can you do ? Is equal to when hope failed you ? Depend on his people ?? Not impossible at that point of time .....You can helplessly depend on yourself and have faith in god .....It a no choice situation who ask god is god and we are his toys .hahah

I need to accept it .who ask me give my life to him ... When god rebuild his ppl , first he will screw them up-sidedown first then blessed them. It so common in the bible .So need to accept the way of how god work.

Actually come to think of it , we are god too . We can screw ppl in our life and then bless them . hahahah but it really depend you want to do it or not .... I am sorry if I stumble you .... you can tell my leader....maybe they felt the same way as me at time . hahahh if god put and word in your heart and you want to encourage me ...Feel free to tag ... hahah sound like worship hahaha

2010-01-05T20:29:00.002+08:00

Hahahah First few day of school is shit ..... hahahah been trying to control the burning rage , depress , discourage emotion in me hahahah .....

Will Mark be reborn ?

hahahah I dont think so .....I believe my capacity has increased .......

Happy 24th birthday Micheal and Mike hahahah If you ever read this =)

2010-01-03T23:20:00.002+08:00

Ahhhh ...... I wan to play waterpolo ...... I dont know will it even come true hahahaha So many ppl i know are like cap from NUS , RJ ,SAJC etc ..... dots go back sure get shooting .....Haiz but i really want to play . hahaha came across a NUS waterpolo 'ablog ..... the new game called FLIPPA ball , it is a combination of Waterpolo and handball hahaha and it is played it shallow pool.It more to attact ppl to this sport .....

But ......I really fear wait god want me to give up again =_= "

hahahaha

If i really want .......

1) Need to train

2) need to go local uni hahahah

hahahah ......I think one reason . I train lesser after giving up the sport ..is because i dont see the value in training anymore.... but now abit different .... in the past ppl is 100% minitry but now i dont think so . ppl still tend to do what they want . hahaha what will my decision be ?? hahaha

2009-11-25T00:05:00.002+08:00

Today went for devotion after sch . It is about "prayer" Foundation topic .hahah After that when to get a headset .....I was at a half hearted attitude again .Buy dont buy buy dont buy . But just buy it anyway . hahahah Walked around causeway point with weiloong chatchat here chatchat there .hahaha it is quite fruitful get to know more about his life. Share some of my tots too.

I guess when ones want to grow. Do you think devil let you grow so easily .Na ....you cant avoid a spiritual warfare.

When I reached home , I just got one =_+
What discussed doing fyp , teammates did another.Teammates dont understand what i mean when i open my mouth and communicate. Tend to do other things.I reall felt like i solo myself better. Let them do 50% equal to redo myself sometime even more percentage.

One module Bs for 4 to 5 weeks straight.boring i did my best but ......hahah but cant blame .... it man's expectation ....Haiz I need to please god by still doing my best. Ahhh it so tough......

2009-11-12T20:16:00.004+08:00

Despite Having a rush & stress week , I still want to talk god for his grace ......To me this two weeks it really like no life , fypfypfyp + studystudystudy ut + all the funny rj .So hard to manage my time to please all .

But ... I really want to thank god for his presence in my life .During last week it really so tough not to neglect god. I also cant make it for sat service during to one of my aunt bday .

That day I have fyp from 1130 - 6pm , Then went for the dinner , at some hotel , it a 45 buffet.

The food it really good . Chilled crabs , durian prata , durian roll , drunken prawn ,etc .... from 630 eat till 10 pm .

When I am there , I am really touched.hahah one of my guy cousin keeps serving me . For example helping me take foods ,keep on taking felting like a king siting down and eat only hahahah .......not forgetting my " love language " is serving .....hahaha manage to catch up with my cousin .....Really enjoy the chats with them .

really tempted not to go service not sun , as I still got ut and fyp to do . But ...I believe god is moulding me in term of my max limit. I really felt he want to enlarge it ....It so that I am able to impact more people in the future when i enter ns or the workforce.

Sun service it about "prayer" hahah

It really hit me hard hahaha .It is because i compromises in my prayer life recently LOL....repented .....hahaha but thank for the reminder .... Man dont always remind you ... because they need to concenr about their life .But god does hahahah

Not fogetting I want to talk god .... for KAI EN ....I was really half dead on cg .... I was like praying god can you surprises me this week hahahah abit thick skin as usual .hahah .....Before I go home ... Kai en give me a cute gundam .... It really cute ....Even though it is not my love langunge but I am really touched ....

Isnt It cute hahahah

2009-11-05T20:25:00.005+08:00

What a hell rj i recived ... I still need to practice guitar and study for ut ..... hell to you .....if i do i dont need to sleep

An action plan to help smooth the way for stronger business links between small and medium-sized enterprises (SMEs) across the Asia-Pacific has taken a key step forward.

Officials of the Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (Apec) grouping agreed to back initiatives tabled at the week-long Apec SME Ministerial Meeting, which ended on Friday.

Mr Lee Yi Shyan, Minister of State for Trade and Industry and Manpower said the Apec SME working group had identified 11 economies to champion priority areas, set up projects and develop suitable key performance indicators.

'In this way, the progress of Apec's future work on SME development can be quantified, and progress measured. Since there are champions for each area, there will be leadership, empowerment and accountability for the work to be carried out,' said Mr Lee.

Singapore and China will champion the priority area of market access and internationalisation; Malaysia and Mexico: the business environment; Taiwan and Thailand: management capability; Korea, Peru and the United States: innovation; Indonesia and Japan: financing.

He also confirmed the Apec SME Ministerial Meeting will adopt five new proposals submitted over the last week to develop market research and market access capabilities. They comprise three proposals tabled by Singapore including Apec Business Fellowships, a study on export technical assistance models and a feasibility study for a market research and capability development centre. Proposals by Indonesia on trading houses and another for an SME crisis management centre proposed by Taiwan, will also be adopted.

Rj:
From Article 1 in the workbin, how do you think APEC can serve to provide opportunities and enhance growth of SMEs?

Recommend opportunities or future growth areas of which investors, in particular SMEs, can venture in Singapore. (500 words min)

My fmt :

What we don’t know ?

Enhance Growth ?What type of growth ?
How do you define growth
What are smes facing that showed they are not growing?
Who is Asia-Pacific Economic Cooperation (Apec)?
What their role?
What are the 11 economies to champion priority areas set up projects and develop suitable key performance indicators referring to ?

New proposals submitted over the last week to develop market research and market access capabilities.
o Apec Business Fellowships, a study on export technical assistance models
o A feasibility study for a market research and capability development centre. Proposals on trading houses (How all this helps the smes?)
o An SME crisis management centre proposed by Taiwan, will also be adopted.
How are these proposes able to help SMEs ?

2009-11-04T22:01:00.004+08:00

Woah busy week again .... hahah all the negtive things in Fyp is expected. Last week we was told we are like 90 plus done ... After today , I felt we are like 60 plus done only ....my teammates is feeling the stress ...... hahaha ....abt ?? Ut & FYP hahaha I think i got alot of thing to stress abt if i want too. hahahah I need to meet my sheeps .... Ahhhhhhh .... Dont felt like studying ....Based on my excel I need 4 As and a b+ for this sem to pull me to 3.5 overall ......It looked crazy to me ...real crazy ...

Thur
-- morning nafa training
--practice P&W
-- Study Ut

Fri
--UT
--FYP meeting
--CG

Sat
--FYP
--Service

I’ll set my mind on You Lord
I’ll choose You every time
Focus my eyes on You Lord
And dedicate my life

Here I am use me
Come into my life
I want to be more like Jesus
Until the end of time

I need to focus ... haha

2009-10-29T15:35:00.004+08:00

Just borrow a bass from my fren .... dom hahaha ..Cool!! HE FROM GRADE 0 JUMP TO 6 .... monster !!!

Last sat when to drink with my sec school frens.... I dont really drink beer ....once drink ,drink tower ...drink until want to die .......But the best part is to get to know them better .....and one of them have long hair .....hahaha

2009-10-21T21:55:00.003+08:00

This week is quite an interesting week ..... hahaha so many things is happening .... last week daily grades not good .hahaha quite disappointing but moving on .hahaha

This week ....there so many conflict between frens . Seeing how they settle it . I am speechless. hahaha quite crappy.

Fyp .... Redoing the section , my team did last week.Sian!!!
We are like a wave being toss left and right by man expectation.

This week really got lazy to seek god .... I need to pull up my sock. Jiayou stephen

Rom 5:3-5

3Not only so, but we[a] also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

claiming this verse is not as easy as i tot .

2009-10-17T00:48:00.002+08:00

hahah my life is too exciting le ....Pack and pack .....Phy , emo and spiritual drain .....hahahah Mich and ray 's sage ended and I lost two buddy . Will stephen lost himself .....hahahah The more I show my weakness the more I felt it was used against me ...........My emotion was in a mess that I decide to sms to the person how i felt instead which I felt it was best.
I was quite surpise with what my close fren in school told me:

Kelvin says (12:19 AM):
*u are juz too honest
Kelvin says (12:19 AM):
*in yr case, helpful u can be, but the fact is u cant get thing right eventually
Kelvin says (12:20 AM):
*yr effort can be seen, but it is hard to recognize
Kelvin says (12:20 AM):
*no doubt abt it, effort 100%, result 0%

True to an extent ....

All my close fren in school really think very highly of me .But I am not that great after all as I face problem same as them some time worse LOL .

Kelvin says (12:41 AM):
*stephen, in our mind/impression, u r the purest among us
Kelvin says (12:41 AM):
*let us juz keep the good image of u, for it is the fact

I was touched and sad . I am touched that I impacted them ....But sad is that I cant be at the same level as them standing beside one another , encouraging each other or laughing together at our problem .I hope it can be a same level frenship.

Will I be a person that god will curse for my disobeience ....... I really dont know time will tell.....If I am hahaha flee hahaha because my god is that powerful ...LOL

2009-10-06T23:01:00.002+08:00

Wow is only the second day of school , it is already draining me . War zone in class .... fight for grade , wanting to gain favour from faci ......Dots .... Being doing more observation work ....not in the game yet...practicing self-control .... because have compassion at the same like felt like head on with them .... but need to have self -control & need to humble .... hahaha

Fyp is alittle crazy ,ppl doing thing out of self -centreness . Wanting to do things their way .... As a leader , if you wan me to demand my way my style ... na you cant meet by expectation with men effort .....because it is because of god's strength and grace that he allow myself to meet my own expectation .... I sometime hate to please men (please dont be stumble by this expression if you are plz approach your leader)......just random i do wonder if you have been studying about human mind , emo , behaviour etc... will you get bored of human ......hahahah

2009-09-30T23:16:00.000+08:00

Durian moon cake hahahh yum yum !!

2009-09-30T09:47:00.002+08:00

yesterday went to NUS for "Double Master of Science in Logistics & Supply Chain Management Program" .The school want to expose us to uni lecture standard . We will be seating 2 lessons. The main topic is " Financial analysis of log. businesses". Share prices !! How do you know the company is profitable ? used formula here and there . That for the first day .Thru there another one .

The person can talked for 3 hours , only talked about introduction and case study . Quite tough to focus . It is becuase I refer walking around talking to people . hahaha I felt for the case study ,there a little no objective . Is like the person is just vomiting out of his brain like that . hahah It quite boring actually but it just to prepare us what is ahead of uni if we are going uni.

But not so bad there some year 2 who went alone too. So manage to make some frens .

2009-09-28T14:42:00.003+08:00

Missed service due to mum bday celebration , was unwilling but a little no choice ..... hahaha ....god tested me again .... I guess i failed it in a way again .... the celebration was held in tamp safra . After reaching tamp interchange ,I dont know which bus to get there .. So I called my sis , nv answer .called a few times then there a answer asked which bus to take .

After asking , I cant find the bus , so I asked for help . Bus driver said there was no such bus =_+. so I decide to take a cab ..... The quene was so long . So I give my sis a call again ..... called untill I became so angry . That I wan to go home .I walk round and round . Anger almost burn my head . then my dad ask me go and ask which bus go to there place . I was thinking "why I nv ask when i ask is there such a bus ?" As I reflected I felt that I led emotion burn my brain ..... hahaha so I walk all the way back to interchange , and ask ....Obviously at that point of time I off ed my phone .hahahah I just left a message to my dad if you see me in 15 min mean i am going . Cool right ? who dare to say that . hahahah

but ended of the day , took 65 which is less than 10 mins . so I reached lor . But as I reflected , If I make the wrong choice what will it be ...... hahahah I still need to grow . Consider other better that yourselves is a value god will tested it regularly . Stephen will grow ....Growing up is a choice ...

there are some photo .

In the previous post ,I talked about my gpa did not increased .But I checked it on sat night , and it did .hahaha

The sad thing is the NUS programme , I was told that I was inclucied in the programme but it is tomorrow i have not recieved the comfirmation reply . My fren told me , my name was not inside . So I dont think I can go .hahaha

It looked like neutralisation . good and bad = normal .But i remember in the movie "facing the giant " there a part talked about praise god if they win or lose . hahaha then a verse came to my mind .

1 Thessalonians 5: 17 -18

pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus.

hahaha that all for today .... need to ask for worship song .....

2009-09-25T12:47:00.003+08:00

hahah I very really busy this few weeks ...... My cg have many problems ..but nv the less god is faithful .... and as his servant we need to be faithful.God indeed test me in my faithful toward ppl I am taking care spiritually .....I am not a good shepherd .... I know for sure ....No good at this not good at that ...i am a perfectionist ...with man effort it is impossible for you to perfect oneself .therefore i wan to let god perfect me ..... hahaha I sure not easy .

As i reflected how god soften their heart ... I really cant help to give thanks .... because it not by the works of men but by god using men through his spirit doing his work ....

I notice recently I lack compassion in my heart ..... I want to impact but like don't want to pay the price hahahah ......

Need to seek more of god hahahah quite 10 years series answers but stephen you need to put it to actions .... Seeking god for more of him less of me ....

i wan a core team prayer meet hahaha but before i suggest it ..... I need to convince my heart and spirit ...Why ? I want it ................

Thank god for my two sheeps ck and lianjie .... both of yours sure moulded me ... not saying i dont like to take care of you .... but both of you do help me mature ... Let row the boat together ....for his glory .... No man should be left behind in this race .

GPA ..... hmmmm a little disappointed ....I cant get my free guitar .... i was not even close to get it .

Overall GPA nv increased.....hahah maybe i have high expectation of myself lol....but obvious got thank god too.hahahah

2009-09-13T21:51:00.004+08:00

hahahah just clarify the reason for some issue ......actually don't need to do so i also know ..... because I know the SOP of it ....... hahaha but nevertheless went to clarify ... But end of the day , it still trouble me . I effected me so terribly until my emotion is going to explode . But nevertheless I control quite a lot hahaha

I just dont know how to continue . The mountain is like so big . Ask a good friend what next , he know on "haiz' , "I dont know" & "go and talk to god" it gave me the impression that he cant be bother . I did hurt . But I think he is helpless .

But he did asked me to read a book on "holy discontent"

Worse things is I am sick + there an FYP issue which is the company said what we did does not meet the requirment at all . Currently dont know if we need to rework a not .hahahah problem after problem . na for me problems is not the issue emotion issue that the problem hahahah .

just have the holy discontentment .... But there one prayer I need to pray .... is to be humble and to have self-control ....how can one man win a system ... possible until god allow ... Will stephen survive his saga .....I lost in my dear fren michael 's saga .... End of the day , I lost two close buddy .... Will I lose myself now ?

I will have to make a decision , which is to continue giving my best with god ... now my heart is not listening much ... But I believe as I continue to seek him ....my best will be with my mind and heart. hahah

2009-09-10T11:26:00.007+08:00

Yesterday what my uncle wedding and the bride is only 24 ..... I felt to funny calling her aunt in the future ........... So old ................ But Quite experience for me ....did alot of dumb things just to entertain the crowd.......But quite fun i guess

Night photo

My handsome cousin .... need no. come find me =)

The wedding dinner ... the gift for their guests ...cute right

Derek , Benidict ,& Stephen = DBS This is one photo my dad 's smile is nice .... heheh he look blur in quite a lot of photo hahah

I am sure ...we do look alike hhahahahah

These are the morning photos

These two photo were just to entertain them ...... btw i very shy one ........

2009-09-07T22:09:00.001+08:00

Ahhhh .... due to never checked school mail.. I missed a good chance ...

"Double Master of Science in Logistics & Supply Chain Management Program in National University of Singapore (NUS) has kindly allowed DSCM students to sit in their module called “Special topics in SCM and Logistics” from 9am to 12pm on tues, 29th Sept, and thurs, 1st Oct from 830am to 12pm.

Base on merit, I have shortlisted you to attend the class.

I will try and get CE points for you too. If not, I think it will still be a very good experience for you all.

Please let me know if you can make it by Sun, 6th Sept.

Due to the urgency in confirming attendance to NUS, I regret that I will take it that you can’t attend the class if you do not reply Sun, 6th Sept

Looking forward to your kind reply."

Ahhhh ...I am one day late. But nevertheless I reply ..... See what god do lor ..... hahaha

2009-09-07T13:07:00.003+08:00

Compass point is having a gundam fiesta ....A lot of models ...Some were really cool and nice ....There are many ppl taking photos .... There are sure many DSLR around .. hahah I sure hope I have one and know how to use one ... If anyone of you are interested you can go and have a look .. I open till 14 sep at compass point ...Bring your cam along ..=)

2009-09-07T12:53:00.002+08:00

29 Aug 2009 .... All of andrew's sheep have a fellowship event ...Which is playing game ..... hahah this are some photo... the fun parts are videos ...But I may need to consider ....to upload here wait ppl stumble hahaha ... It quite fun .... I guess ..

2009-08-13T10:41:00.004+08:00

Finally , fyp1 is over . Quite crappy .....But there sure many areas to improve.
Need to update
First celebrate gary birthday on 8 Aug . Went to watch sunrise.Thiis what i make for him + other ppl cards ...it not as good asi expected.

Still waiting for more photo ....

I quite upset by chain of events.... And due to that unhappiness , anger emotion also come in . Haiz .....It more lke members are climbing up to leaders to understand them instead of them come down to understand memebers. They nv change ......May cannot say nv if not I am lying .Got change but not much.

I felt I am growing but when you meteor come to you and say words like you nv change at all how do you felt? dots la totally speechless.

2009-07-21T10:53:00.001+08:00

Stretching Your Mindby Rick Warren

In the book “Putting the One Minute Manager to Work,” one of the key concepts is this: Don’t Just Do Something—Sit There!

Too often, many of our problems arise from acting before thinking. We confuse activity with productivity. We think, “I’m so busy, I must be accomplishing something!” In reality, we may just be spinning our wheels. Like sitting in a rocking chair, you can expend a lot of energy and create a lot of motion, but you still aren’t going anywhere.Progress and productivity always require thought!

The Bible says:“A wise man thinks ahead; a fool doesn’t and even brags about it!” (Proverbs 13:16 LB).

“A good man thinks before he speaks” (Proverbs 15:28 LB).
“The wise man looks ahead. The fool attempts to fool himself and won’t face facts” (Proverbs 14:8 LB).
“A wise man is cautious and avoids danger; a fool plunges ahead with great confidence” (Proverbs 14:16 LB).

Unfortunately many parts of your work seem to conspire to keep you from thinking! Pressures, deadlines, appointments, and interruptions fill your day so you have no time to think. You stay so busy swatting mosquitoes that you have no time to drain the swamp.Nothing is as important to your job as thinking, yet nothing is harder to take time to do. The solution is to schedule “think” time. Make a daily appointment with yourself to simply think about your work.

Think about what you do, how you do it, and the results you are getting:

“Any enterprise is built by wise planning, becomes strong through common sense, and profits wonderfully by keeping abreast of the facts” (Proverbs 24:3 LB).

Your mind is like a muscle. It develops with use. The more you develop it, the more productive you will be. Your brain is God’s gift to you. What you do with it is your gift to God. Think about it!

2009-07-18T15:04:00.003+08:00

This week is also a tired week .... Every week tired one hahah .

But nevermind let give thank ....But treated this as a habit ...if not will become no life .

Let see this week ....

I did not start the week very well

But thank god for leading me through leading worship ....Thank god for Kai en for playing hahah

On thur , I late for my fitness program ...Then if late no attentent mark mean no present for first meeting . That what they said la but I a bit dont believe .But by the grace of god , that give chance because it the first week .

Fri , I overslept ...then when the walk to the bus stop the bus just arrived and it is not so crowed =)

Today watch Harry Potter .....7pm at suntec need to study now ...tomorrow going service ......

2009-07-12T11:23:00.003+08:00

Fri when to watch tranformer 2 with my parents .It a 1130pm movie at AMK....Reached home about 230am .... But before that when to visit my aunt , updated about my cousin lives and their plans .Heard some unbelievable news , one of my cousin broke up with the other half who have been together for 4 years. Reasons because the other half two-timers .That what I heard.

Quite shocking.I know the other half but cant believe it . Haiz

Moving on , let talk about the movie .

Plot is good .... But parents said picture moved too fast .Human eyes cant catch all the action . hahah

Learning point ....

1) Humble yourself & take the courage to face your mistakes

At the begin the main character run away from what he need to do .But after he realize what he need to do he do his best all the way despite discouragement .

2) Quite a 10 years seri .Leadership is earn not given .

This is quite reflective hahah

2009-07-09T22:00:00.002+08:00

Tired ................................................ I felt like doing what I want ........... Meeting expectation drain me .............. Pleasing Men and only men ...................... When I fear it always happen .......I really cant think when i nv happen..........................I know he is good , faithful and just....... but I just dont know why he always make my fear come true .............. testing my faith ??? ............ Ppl close to me who know my life , like to say my life like very tough like that ........True ... but it not like there dont have any good time .......But for me good times come unexpectedly but bad time come as expected ...... if like I know when bad things going to happen dots ...........for today is the second ut my key board failed me ...............

When home with my ex-classmates ....... they was like asking me "Hey what happen to you stephen.your ut grade does not reflect you " ... Beat me like I know .......Am I slacking or am I that busy ...........hahah nehe is year 4 ...should be god plan .... if god plan for me year 4 go ahead lor ... your servant have no choice .....hahaha I know what my ex-sheep backsilde he just dont want to be control by fate hahaha .....he want to create his own ........I want to vend my anger my emotion here ....But I will just cause more trouble for me ......hahaha so who bother ......think I so free ah always want ppl to rebuke me becuase of my blog posts ..... LOL ..... I need to believe he is in control ......my mind believe 100% my heart - 100 % . 100% + -100% = 0% hahah ..... Let see how it goes .....

2009-07-08T11:54:00.000+08:00

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It's genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level sharing.It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives.

They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, and superficial politeness, but shallow conversation.

People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship.It's only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship.

The Bible says, "If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other . . . If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves" (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.

Why would anyone take such a risk?

Because it's the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy. The Bible says, "Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed" (James 5:16 MSG).

2009-07-06T15:22:00.005+08:00

It is Rusty ... Now for the part 2 of my brithday .

Red cross

2009-06-22T22:19:00.007+08:00

19 june went to watch "video game live" It Cool !!!

Guess what ?? I celebrated my bday at a hawker centre .Cool right ??? Quite lame , I felt . hahah What I did on 21 june 2009 = eat ,sleep ,eat and sleep hahaha .

While I was asleep my cousin came by house and send me a card .It said "Happy a great time and have a coolest bday ever".When I woke up , I was laughing .It is because it indeed cool as I had been sleeping in the air-con room =)

2009-05-31T10:10:00.002+08:00

Yesterday Family event was totally horrible. Dinner was ok ...Ate good foods ...Cousin injured her leg .Currently on cast due to motorcycle accident. Another One injured also due to motorcycle accident but it not as serious .But the second one is no license but want to try to ride =_="

For of crap , the two accidents are really crappy ....Is life all about excitement ??? haha Was quite sad to heard for my aunts "stephen you blog so boring .Why all words one ". I was like " I am sure I wrote more insteresting stuffs than other can ?? I wrote what I thought what I learnt .But other only wrote what they do how they felt ? But is not like I nv wrote them like that .

Next When for bowling ....After the first game , was very tired but ppl want to go for the second .
Obviously second game was crap for me .Every balls I misses or hit a few , people was like ."Stephen you need to do this and that. In my heart ,I was like "If you are dead serious wanting to teach me .When It is your turn to bowl you will show me the "how to bowl part". It is because bowling is not a game that you just saysay ppl get it .

Adults something are just nob.I will be the last man laughing at you children believe me .I really Love & care for all my cousins .But I really have limited time & resources. I remembered once I was told If I put god's kingdom first in my life . Obviously god will protect things important to his people.

But as a christian I need to love .God I really need more of your love and compassion.I see the value in investing time in other . But sometime It really draining . I hate prideful ppl .I hate ppl who wear masks .But these two area I have the most compassion on .Maybe because I am prideful & I did wear a mask around .But because jesus have entered my life .I have growth .

Everyday I was being drain my man expectation . Very draining can .

All the closer buddies I treasured : Is not like I dont treasured all my friends

Rui hao
Thomas
gary mok
Mich
raymond

Some are in this race .Some are not . Will I see them in the future. Surface frenships in the world are easy to build. But not many people know what my vision is ?? haha Who is with me??? haha I dont know ?

2009-05-21T22:19:00.003+08:00

After I read Daph & Luke blog ...I really make me wonder ...What will make me fall in to despair ....Maybe in the future ...wife , children & family all die at one shot ba ....Hope to experience that at least once in my life .

I get I brough up in a way .Where many things is reason with logic ??

For eg. when I saw this "no biblical evidence to suggest that the desperate act of troubled person will prevent him from ever entering the presence of God"

I was like that there no biblical evidence said the person wont ....right ? hahah

Even after reading the link daph I still agrue with it ....

For example :All who do not trust Jesus alone, by faith are not forgiven and go to hell when they die .

Q: Do we always trust jesus alone ....Even me myself cant say that .

After reading the first part ...A question ring in my head again

Q:How do you ask for forgiveness when you are dead ?? Is it when your soul see god one-on-one then you ask ???

Let continue reading .....

Suicide is, in effect, self-murder. The unfortunate thing about it is that the one who commits it cannot repent of it. The damage is permanently done. We can see in the Bible that murderers have been redeemed (Moses, David, etc.), but they had opportunities to confess their sins and repent. With suicide, the person does not. But that does not mean the person is lost. Jesus bore all that person's sins, including suicide. If Jesus bore that person's sins on the cross 2000 years ago, and if suicide was not covered, then the Christian was never saved in the first place and the one sin of suicide is able to undo the entire work of the cross of Christ. This cannot be. Jesus either saves completely or he does not.

Is suicide always wrong?

That I cannot answer because I cannot list every possible situation. But, it seems obvious that suicide is clearly wrong, though forgivable. However, there are general categories of suicide that we could briefly comment on:

Medically Assisted Suicide - I've never seen this as being acceptable. The doctor is supposed to save life, not destroy it. But, lately as destroying the lives of the unborn is more common place, destroying the lives of the sick has become the next logical step.

Suicide to prevent prolonged torture - Let's say that someone was being tortured in an excruciating manner for an unbearably long period of time, is suicide an option? Perhaps. But if it were in this situation, why wouldn't it be all right in the medically assisted context if the patient were also in excruciating pain for long periods of time? Quite honestly, I'm not sure how to answer that one.

Suicide due to depression - Of course, this is never a good reason for suicide. Seasons pass and so does depression. The one who is depressed needs to look to Jesus and get help. Depression is real and powerful and is best fought with help. Also, severe depression robs the mind of clear thinking. People in such states are in a real way, not in their right mind.

Suicide due to a chemical imbalance in the brain - The human brain is incredibly complex and the medical community is full of accounts of extraordinary behaviors by people whose "circuits got crossed." I don't see how a situation like this would make it justifiable. I think it simply would make it more explainable.

Accidental suicide - Sometimes people accidentally kill themselves. This could mean leaning over a balcony too far and falling to one's death, or actually, purposefully taking a stupid risk like playing with a gun. Of course, with either, stupidity does not remove us from the grace of God.

Conclusion
Is the Christian forgiven for suicide? Yes. But suicide is not an option. We do not have the right to take our own lives. That belongs to God.

Therefore it DOS ...Depend on situation ....

Q: What if no one give you an option , you have only one option which is suicide ? How ?hahah lame question ....

I cant really say I know why my life is so tough compare to other maybe is the way I was brought up I may think .

But i dont think so ..I still felt it under god plan still .
Since my youth day , ppl had being asking me "Why" I faced so many problems ...Sometime I really want to tell them ."Like I want like that ask god la he so free".

Sometime I look at ppl with frens encouraging them in things ....My heart will like "wow so good how I wish I had too" hahah truefully speaking " I grown up without out much encouragement from man do I have a choice....I doubt so "

Many things push me to growth ...for example , I was taught if you want to grow , just find ways to grow .if you have the will you have the way....That one reason why I am who I am today ...but also not forgetting god la ....

Curious what is install in the future .........What is despair for stephen ???? Looking forward & not looking forward...Mixed hahah

Bring it on god challenges my logic ....i know I will lost ...But in order to influence the more logically I need to lost ...

http://www.carm.org/questions/other-questions/if-christian-commits-suicide-he-still-forgiven

2009-05-20T03:31:00.004+08:00

If you guess .... I am not thinking anything you are wrong ....From what I know "suicide" is a sin which I know wont go heaven ...But how true is it ??? That what I was taught ....But ppl are are saying who are we to judge ??? But we hope to see the person go heaven ???? Obvious I also want.

Just was thinking if the person who taught be based on a strong evidence in the bible ....And the end of the day is not true ...Why am I even beliving in god ??? Is like "The"....

If "suicide" can go heaven ...We just need to say to non-b "if you are in the hurry to go heaven ,just accept god and then suicide that is simple right ?"

I also can plan when to suicide ...is like end of the day I still reach the same place

No worry , no intention of suicide ...These are just thougths...

So decided to do some reading up ....to see what ppl think of it ...

These are what ppl wrote:

If the person who committed suicide did not judge, did not condemn, was a person that forgave others, what does that tell you. It all goes back to the fact of what is in their heart? If they were this type of person, they won't be judged, or condemned, they will be forgiven and will be in heaven.

Q:When you decide to suicide isnt it a action after you condeming yourself ???

How do you define "Suicide"???

According to Dictionary.com, suicide is defined as "the intentional taking of one's own life.

For example ,a woman who's been smoking her whole life, and has gone from doctor to doctor, and each one tells her that if she doesn't stop smoking she's facing her own death. And then shortly there after the woman dies of lung cancer. She knew that she was harming herself. She heard the warnings, yet she didn't take them to account. Is that suicide?

Another example , an obese man, struggling with high Cholesterol, diabetes, heart problems. And all his doctor advises him to do is diet and exercise, but he doesn't listen, and dies of a heart attack? Where's the line of what suicide is or not.

If you base in the meaning "intentional"....We dont know if it is "suicide " because we dont know the intention.But if it is "intention" then you should know what it mean.

This one it also good :reflective

Regardless of a person's salvation, the act of suicide is the ultimate trespassing of the two greatest commandments: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength." "Love your neighbor as yourself."

We shouldn't concern ourselves with the eternal destination of someone who has committed suicide, but we can certainly conclude that suicide is a sin based on these two commands. When someone takes their own life, they are making an irrevocable decision to put themselves before God; at that particular moment they love themselves with all their heart, soul, mind and strength.

This takes us to the next commandment. It is impossible to love your neighbor after you're gone. In the state of suicidal tendency, our only thought is of our self. If we would apply that second command to our self-centeredness during our darkest hour, we would actually be saved by our neighbor and live to love another day.

So is suicide the unpardonable sin?

That's not up to you or me to decide. Instead of worrying about if someone will go to Heaven or Hell due to suicide, we should focus our efforts on the reasons they find themselves is such a state of despair. Do they know Jesus? Have they forgotten who Jesus is? Do they know who they are? These are the questions we should ask. Once we have a starting point we can then move forward with the message of hope hope of life eternal rather than infernal.

After reading this section ....I was like "LOL" srry ah god hahah but did I found some intersting stuffs to thik about ?

2009-05-14T23:47:00.003+08:00

hmmm but end of the day ...What "StephenHope " hahah.... Because no matter what the situation might me ...We need to see " hope" in god . "Hope" is really a big word .

When I felt accepted christ . It not about the ppl who attracted me .It more to god that attracted me sound a lttle gay . But it true . Beside just being my lord and saviour , he is the "Hope" in all men problem.

haha there is someone who turn away from god and lead his/her own life .Some ppl did give up on the person .It true I felt like giving up before .But as I look to god ...there is sure more than giving up .Only one life and soon it will passed , how many lives do I want to give up on in my life time . Iasked myself .But ended of the day , god still moved in this person lives . I beleive god will move more .but also depend if the person allow it or not =)

In one life time , you will meet many ppl . But not many ppl ,you are given the chance to impact.
An impact required efforts .For example , when you slam a door , force is needed in order to slam it .

So are you giving your all & taking all the chances god given you to make an impact ??? that one question i need to ask myself too.

There many ppl I want to impact but there so little time .How I wish I have more time ....

2009-05-14T13:13:00.003+08:00

I Pon sch today the feeling rocks ....very sick of going sch . Competition is so heat up .hahaha normally for me if man is my mountain I will break it with all my might , I dont mind destorying it .The result is may destory someone la

haha But if be good person , ppl just shut me up and yes need forgive them .What if Ppl take it for grated how ?? haha

NAFA on sat , it crash with my fyp meeting which one should I go ? Which factor should I based on ?? For me if I cant decide I wont go for both .

3 -5 June red cross camp ... It also crash my fyp schedule .

Sad to say this week worship not very well plan ....no theme , songs chosen on the day itself .

Yesterday had a heated up conversation with someone ....I guess maybe is holy discontentment ba .

Why do some ppl in the guys group stick to the gal group more often ?? This show there some issues in the guys group right ??

I will there is many reasons to this :

Example :
Prefer relating with gals than guys
Felt more love/confortable there
Despo (I dont think so la)

But end of the day .....It self-centreness ..It's a painful truth. So what there a issue in the guys group did you try all ways to do sometime about it . On the other hand you got issues yourself too . If everyone decided to do what they prefer to do . What will a group be , everyone leading their own live.Therefore it not a cg . I can get this from the world .It maybe more fun.

if you ask me , where did my batch of trasfer go ?? Mostly lost to the world hahah What drive me ....Cg ?? the percentage not much . It more to my purpose in christ .it really look like I am the only one left in my batch .How would I feel ? hahaha I dont think i will feel "yes i am the lastman standing " haha I guess sadness will come frist.

2009-05-10T20:52:00.003+08:00

Happy Mother Day .....
This what my sis & I got for our mum this year :

When to my grandma house to give her a surprise LOL my dad 's idea quite thoughtful of him haha .

Then had a family dinner ....It simple hahah but it is enjoyable because my family love language is "Time" hahah.

Wah I got another "B" emoing lol affect is confirm because I am a perfectionist .But na choose not to overeact LOL .....

2009-05-06T21:16:00.002+08:00

In authentic Christian fellowship people should experience a mutual dependency. This mutuality is the art of giving and receiving; it's depending on each other.

The Bible says, "The way God designed our bodies is a model for understanding our lives together as a church: every part dependent on every other part" (1 Corinthians 12:25 MSG).

Mutuality is the heart of fellowship: building reciprocal relationships, sharing responsibilities, and helping each other. Paul said, "I want us to help each other with the faith we have. Your faith will help me, and my faith will help you" (Romans 1:12 NCV).

All of us are more consistent in our faith when others walk with us and encourage us. The Bible commands mutual accountability, mutual encouragement, mutual serving, and mutual honoring.

Over fifty times in the New Testament we're commanded to do different tasks for "one another" and "each other." The Bible says, "Make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification" (Romans 14:19 NIV).

You are not responsible for everyone in the body of Christ, but you are responsible to them. God expects you do whatever you can to help them.

End of the day it our best that matter .Doing our best with god haha .....

Wah I feel I losing how to express my emotion ....die I going to be robot ...hahah

2009-05-05T23:46:00.005+08:00

"But if we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other. Then the blood of Jesus, God's Son, cleanses us from every sin. If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves, and the truth is not in us" (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

In Christian fellowship people should experience authenticity.

Authentic fellowship is not superficial, surface-level chit-chat. It's genuine, heart-to-heart, sometimes gut-level sharing.

It happens when people get honest about who they are and what is happening in their lives. They share their hurts, reveal their feelings, confess their failures, disclose their doubts, admit their fears, acknowledge their weaknesses, and ask for help and prayer.

Authenticity is the exact opposite of what you find in many churches. Instead of an atmosphere of honesty and humility, there is pretending, role-playing, politicking, superficial politeness, and shallow conversation. People wear masks, keep their guard up, and act as if everything is rosy in their lives. These attitudes are the death of real friendship.

It's only as we become open about our lives that we experience authentic fellowship. The Bible says, "If we live in the light, as God is in the light, we can share fellowship with each other...If we say we have no sin, we are fooling ourselves" (1 John 1:7-8 NCV).

The world thinks intimacy occurs in the dark, but God says it happens in the light. We tend to use darkness to hide our hurts, faults, fears, failures, and flaws. But in the light, we bring them all out into the open and admit who we really are.

Of course, being authentic requires both courage and humility. It means facing our fear of exposure, rejection, and being hurt again.

Why would anyone take such a risk?

Because it's the only way to grow spiritually and be emotionally healthy.

The Bible says, "Make this your common practice: Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you can live together whole and healed" (James 5:16 MSG).

How well am I doing in this area ? Good question to reflection

2009-05-03T13:13:00.006+08:00

Woah ... Fri when for the YouthDNA event at the pub at flyer .I totally forgot what the name of it .I will only say the food is not bad hahah

My buddy Edwin( isnt he cute) & me

This is my second picture with my shepherd haha ...It quite rare I take photo with him

Good food

Band performance

2009-04-15T00:46:00.002+08:00

I want to thank god for using me to impact my frens lives during that Easter week .That was a busy week. But I managed to impact quite a no. of frens around me .

After cutting my hair , I look quite nerd ...ahhhhhbut na it ok still got handsome guys around me .hahah for example the tall one and the green one muahaha too hot to resist .

As I spend time with one of my fren edwin .It really remained me " why I do what I do " To make an impact that will last .There are many important frens , I want let them know the god that changed and impacted my life .haha but time is always the factor lol

On Fri , one of my dearest buddy micheal slided back to god .When I received the news , no words can describes how glad I was .My heart was like "at last at last I been pressing on for this day " some part was like "god why so long ah ?" very funny one .That me ....

For me , I really did not expected him to come for easter service .It not like I dont want him to come .But dont know le .But when I saw him ,I was very suprised .I think because I dont know what more to expect from god haha all I want is wanting him to experience god to it fullness again .

The usual thing I do if god always suprise is to tear haha lame right . But sometime too touched my his surpises till not to say .

I am also glad that my fren edwin enjoyed himself .

Below are some photos that we took on that days :

2009-04-07T11:19:00.002+08:00

In the past few days , i had met a few new frens .On fri , I met some of Micheal's frens and spend time chatting with him .It really a different feeling when you are the minority .Normal the more people group will influence the lesser one .

I was just reflecting a little .Normally when we intro people to the group .How are we portraying ourselves ? obvious we try to be salt and light to attract them to the family .But one thing for sure .It the same way how ppl attracted you when you are the minority.

haha I was grateful to god as I beleive that I was able to impact the new ppl I knew .By spending time to talk about their life.They are just simple ppl .Wanting to have a sense of belonging , to be understand etc.Eventhougth they led a total different lives as me , in my heart I was like do you know the love of god can transform you ? .I felt their tonning are quite aimless ,make me think "do we really have alot of time to kill ?"

Some questions came to my mind like "How much time are we investing to build our lives"?
Build others lives are important but in order to be effective we need to build ourself to a great level.To be all think to all man . That what I want to be ...I want to relate effective to all type of ppl .That my goal .In order to improve that ,I need to be strong in the word as my foundation and dare to come out of my confort zone to relate with ppl different as me.

Micheal's frens to me are like gang there gang there ,smoke ,tatoo .But they are really simple ppl .I think they quite stun , I started to intro myself first haha .

But overall I think the experience allow me to have more compassion.I will said it a good start knowing them .

To be continue ......

2009-03-28T15:57:00.014+08:00

Weee !! it the end of attachment ....need to plan on my things

1)Fasting & praying for the next three week
- Need to tune to god's channel

2)FYP
-Catch up what is needed to

3) Red cross camp (Logistic)
-Prepare documents needed to do my role for effectively

On top of this there is like X2 training classes ahh

I am busy ...But my sheep more busy but he quite cool i guess ...Even though we have quite a lot of differences . But not bad ....The more i relate to ppl different the more my relating skills improve ...that is one strength I am proud of muahahah

Will I misses ppl at GSK ..I wonder ?? Should be ba ...haha so many hot guys and gals woah unforgettable

But I really learn a lot from them ....Had a farewell on Thur.But before that had an evaluation.Not bad got quite a no. of good feedback ...Interesting things is that I wonder how the good feedback past round the company .

Ppl can just come to me saying that i did well .Sometime my reply will be "HUH" .Then they said what they heard from someone . Dots

During the last day , had some deeply sharing with some of them .Some thank me for teaching them about the "five love languages".Some wishes me all the best ....etc ..But during one of the sharing , one said that I will definitely do well in the future .But I was Like "huh how do you know".Then I started sharing my strengths and weakness.Then she added because you have god with you .

I was stun at the moment.I was reminded how little faith I have .haha at that point of time , I felt like tearing but I didnt . Not wise lol

Let's change topic, the farewell party can eat untill you die .... pizza hut & kfc ...so many left over sia ...I think they miss me too .haha I so thick skin .But you nv know what impact i left muahaha sound so evil ...

Overall the attachment , there was a time I struggle haha with staying in my comfort zone as initially during the first two weeks, there was another a tp student attached to the company too .But after two weeks , it was the end of his attachment .Dots

I managed to know some new friends from NTU .But quite tough to relate.

One regret I had was that I did not come out of my comfort zone earlier to know them more .haha I did manage to impact them but I can impact them more if I am out of my confort zone earlier.

That all .Who will I miss more hot guys or hot gals ?? Hmmmm wat if It 50 % 50% what is happening to me ??? ahahhahh Jk ( Plz choose not to stumble)

Now is photos time:

This photo ..super funny ...

NTU students & me

My two supervisors Melvin Mak (Left) & Lest Lim(right)

2009-02-06T22:42:00.004+08:00

It the first week of work ...Quite Drain haha Meeting after meeting ...My job scope is so wide .I felt this company think super high of me .

The reason I am there is to solve problem due to some IT stuffs

Before I go to the company , time taken for production scheduling is a tough task using excel as it take alot of time. My supervisor improved the problem my creating an excel that can speed up the time .So I in a way am there to improve the problem my supervisor improved .

That was the first impression that my supervisor gave me .But I am suppose to sove the problem for his supervisor .But he added that sometime he dont know what he want .LOL

This week really meeting all the way , like out of 8hours work like 5 hours meeting sometime .But should only be at the start of the months.Next week , will be many hand-on .

Got a little pressure as I am working closely with manager or can say team leader under the planning side .You see them planned you nothing to say . You know why ??? They do their best to come out with plan that dont miss out consider everyone . As I see them planned , It allow me to reflect that I caring less and less about other lives .Is like I give up like that .Is like I am tired to start ball rolling .

Some of my ex unit , saying that they coming RP . I was like "LOL" ok lor come lor .
I just got one question ?? Beside sms got meeting , got Cg & got service ? What else do we sms people ah ??? Everyone is like so busy with their lives or running their own race .That should not be normal .But it Quite normal in RP cgs. You just need to get used to the environment if not leave . That the world saying . Or you just need to bear for a few years .

With my strength I really can go far .I have two supervisors , both have their strengths , one is a quieter one , he observe first then he speak up . The other is younger a little , he dare to stand for himself ,dare to clarfy , dare to correct his boss & very good at relating with people .I start a little of myself heard and there .

They have some things in common , humble when they make a mistakes or did not finished on time they will say sorry .Got a few more lol.

For be is like observation week , beside meeting after meeting.

Let me give you super background
This is rp strength

Raymond
Michael
Kai En
Dilys
Ke jie
Martin
Michelle
Emily/Dawn
Jaslyn/Esther
Jia wei
Chun Kwee /David
Cherine/Ruth
Luke
Pei Qing /Daphne
Stephen
Shareen
LianJie
Guisiang
Alysia
Jeff
Elaine
Heng yu
Dao
Jerrome
Leelin
Debra
Nehemaiah
Jason Tan
Jovin
Roy
Melissa Tan
Windez
Mei yun
Wei ting

This is the data collected from first my year one till now ..Should have more

2009-01-23T22:24:00.008+08:00

It been a while .....On 22 Jan 2009 , I was going school quite happily as We are going to take class photos.
On the other hand , someting terrible happen which I will never expected .The Psp which was entrusted to me was stolen .I was sick on that day running with flu .So I can say my observation level was not my normal level . And I only found out it was missing before I left class at about 4pm.

In my mind , was like thinking more of other people entered my class and took it or it was just a prank as ppl must hate me too much LOL.

But after we watched the cctv for the cam outside the classes .Some of my frens and I noticed that nobody we dont know entered our class .I was stunned at the moment I really cant believe it .Someone in a class I trusted alot did this to me .

For me , when I trusted a class , I am more real to everyone . I dare to joke , care & invest in lives . Trust is a choice not a feeling .I choose to trust .I believe everyone have a good side .No one can say they dont despite the different environment we are brought up in.

Some people , may say to me .It mine fault for trusting everyone .Not all ppl you should trust .True to an extent . But I tell you the truth .Deep in each human heart , everyone longed to be trusted.

I will say It hurt so many until I total no comment . I do wonder we dislike me so much until must like that .

And I just found out that the psp is something special to the one that entrusted it to me .It was a christmas present .Whereby the mum had no job and used her saving to purchase it for her .

God allowed things to happen......But I haven got my conclusion from him yet "What the Reason" why this happen ?

1 Peter 5:7 (New International Version)
7Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

Can I still make a decsion to trust despite this ?

2008-12-23T22:36:00.013+08:00

Yesterday had some class Christmas celebration at my house .It was quite a late min plan , but it stil went well.

Everyone was supposed to meet at 4pm at sengkeng .But everyone was late muahahaha

After waiting a while , a small group came .Which is siva , weijie , louis ,Kelvin & me .We first when to cold storage to get our foods.

Next we go back to my house to do the preparation .

These are photos where they are in action .

Preparation:

Cooking :

To be continue .......

2008-12-16T02:28:00.003+08:00

Let See What I have this week

Mon: Reformat Lappy & Meet Andrew
Tue: Shopping With CG , Maybe can study for Op Ut
Wed: Teaching the word
Thur: E45k class Prawning Outing 4pm bishan Mrt
Fri: Fyp Meeting 1230pm at tpy Mrt
Sat: Pre-Xmas Service

2008-12-14T19:02:00.003+08:00

As Xmas is coming , leaders start to charge their team .This is common , every year the same no different .It quite seasonal . Beening in church for so long am i sick and tired .Not really yet .

I have also cativate a life style that is not seasonal .Impacting lives when i have the chance too.

I have been quite close-up after so many thing have happen .That what i obvious .Sharing lesser of my thoughts.It all quite surface.Sometime really dont feel like going CG haha interesting right .It common .

Today i was ask to answer a question "Why do i love my cg" I was like stun . dont know how to answer .

Yesterday was my first trainning and duty for counter . It quite interesting . Was encouraged by the team leader as she do her role as a leader.Will this minitry bond me stronger than the cg bond I dont know ?
It was fun learning new stuffs & service people.

After service was quite tired , but last min got meeting =_="

jas shared her heartbeat for Xmas , i was encouraged also haha I find it funny .In the past , people will say it not about numbers.but souls .But now is if it is not about number you can get rid of the chapter number in the bible .LOL But the bible become incompete.

i have frens that i wan to invite.but i think i just forgotten to set my goals.

haha as i reflect quite also out thing happen this week .I random one is talking to kennth from Di.
I dont know is talking or shotting.Everything he said to me is the same things he need to reflect about .

One thing that hurt me ,is that when i asked him "it is possible to talk to me gentlely".He said "then dont talk to me".That sure hurt.I amost give him "rocket laucher "LOL

But he also cause me to reflect .which is good .For me i think is common when ever anything happen I will do reflectation after that .I dont know will her read this or not . But I will say let grow together .We need to know that we are weak before we can be strong .

I need to pray for the people I inviting .

People come & go , the church will still grow why is that so .haha not only because the bible say so .It is because people hope for the future.The bible just encourage the people that hope for the future.

In time , there is the past ,present & future . But we should hope for the future .As we have this attitude to hope for the future .We will humbly learning from the past , applied in the present and hope for the future .

Woah !!! I dont know how i write that but it look interesting .

2008-12-08T19:51:00.002+08:00

Been Lazy to blog nowaday .....
Service was great .

Title :When hope fail us

Exo5:15-21

1) We tend to depend on man

When situation is so bad & tough we tend to depend on man first .

a) We should have faith & depend on god

Faith =An attitude

Which is : To pray , To believe & To receive

b)Be patient

We need to wait for god to answer .

2)Blame game

When something unexpected happen , man tend to blame each other .

a) We can ask god to change our attitude & perspectives

Looking things through his eyes.

b) Give thank i all circumstances

Believe everything happen for a purpose for god 's work to be done

I also borrowed a book recently .The title is "Managing team for dummies" Am I that weak in this area ?? Haha you answer ?? It just caught my attention when I am walking around the school library on Fri .

I found a folded pages .It about the differences between working in team & group.

Groups
1)Individual Accountability
2)Come together to share information & perspectives
3)Focus on individual goals
4)Produce individual work products
5)Define individual roles , task & responsibilities
6)Concern with one's own outcome & challenges
7)Purpose ,goals ,approached to work shaped by leader

Teams
1)Individual & Mutual Accountability
2)Frequently Come together for discussion ,decision making , problem solving & planning
3)Focus on team goals
4)Product collective work products
5)Define individual roles , task & responsibilities to helps team do it work often shared & rotate them
6)Concern with the outcomes of everyone & challenges the team faced
7)Purpose ,goals ,approached to work shaped by leader and member .

So in school are we working more toward group work or team work .And to improve the situation it always start with US.

Everyone plays a part .What are you going to do ???

2008-11-20T14:32:00.003+08:00

I am so tired .School is always not that good .The Loving god love me too much everyday and wanted to test me . Test my patience , then torture me to train my perseverance .Sometime how i wishes everything stop .I want to ask god can you stop training me and train others.

The world really look more fun .When people used power to destroy the weak . Sometime the weak also dont know.

In my class , people sometime scared to share what they know as they fear people will surpass them .People also scared to share their grade .There's many reasons but the main thing is to protect themselves from getting HURT .
That is so common.

I always try to create a win & win situation for everyday .But people always want to do in the way which only one can win . themselves ........
And I getting tired of receiving shitt from them .Living as a christian for 6 years plus mold me to because a person who able to receive a large amount of hurt without doing anything .

Dont think too lowly of me people .I am only restrained by the word of god & nevertheless the Holy spirit.The inner ego of me long to destroy those who take me for grated.

Having too much knowledge also not good .Because if you want to harden your heart all the knowledge will hunt you down.Muahahahahah

Having to much EQ can destroy you .The path of thinker is to lead to destruction .That the only path for you .Believe in that and unleash your full potential. And you will received power when you choose to unleash everything you have & you will relieved everyone from the world nature .Is that me or Mark haha ??? But it sound like some movie quotes like that LOL

"Free to hate Free to Love "
Heard of it ? But christian only "Must Love"

I getting sick relating with other & trying to help them overcoming their weakness.Why bother to understand as some people cant be bother about you .Understand human behaviour is easy for me haha what i felt .Just observe lor .

Hopefully these are just ranting & my action dont show the follow up of my word. And that called " Walk the talk ". haha

2008-11-09T19:41:00.009+08:00

Yesterday was an interesting day ....Morning did not go for some training class .Afternoon actually dont felt like going service .haha cool right haha

I did not want to come out of my comfort zone too to passed mich money but I did .I dont know where i go to bring him .But the place at alot of interesting art work .

Example . Cool right !! And ck went service .It really encouraged me .

The title is "Confidence in keeping the right priority "

1)Know that the sovereign god is supporting us

2)know that god had entrusted his authority to us

For me , i responded to the first one .haha because i am fearful of the power i have.My sherpherd told me , when power is use is the right way it will impact others greatly .

I agreed with him .But the truth is we are sinner there are time we misuse it .I am sure no leaders can said they nv misuse them .Sometime i am super fearful .

haha but ck encouraged me by coming .And when the church ask who have the word for the church .It is a bullseye. haha i cant remember the content .But you know it is god .

Today when to read a leadership book which i bought a while ago .

I jumped all the way to the topic discouragement .It a process ,first you lose strength , it when you start complaining you are tired .Next is you losing the vision .Which mean you cant see your big picture or goals.Next you lose confidence in reaching it .And lastly you lost security .

I sure got many interesting books.

If you want to grow resources are everywhere .If you bother to go take an extra step and go find or ask others only.

2008-11-07T20:36:00.002+08:00

Haiz when i see this comment for by daily grade I very sian .

"Stephen, you were doing pretty good today. But I want to see more of your leadership in your team to bring your team together to concentrate on the problem that you were working on."

Why must leadership be one area of my daily grade dammm ....For most of problem I been leading not tried ah .It so tough to lead everyday .God got nothing better to do .Ppl get good grade by doing their best.I get it my doing my best and leading the team .Dots.

One of my faci in year 1 taught me about manging my performance .Is like your best(100%) / by 16 weeks. As the weeks past you slowly increase, your faci will see you improving and will give you A .

But i felt is super cheat la.Like the first week .you faci will think you are at your 100% .So as the week past ,he see you improve to 105% or 110%.

This is what called performance management .

But by doing so you wont really improved.I sure your grade sure rock one .I felt that When everyday you do your best .Your best will improve .

It so tough to maintain my best performance la. I hate the power you have given me .I really hate it .

I lead not becuase I want to but need to .damm

2008-11-01T00:09:00.002+08:00

Just went for U&I camp , it was not fun .But did manage to catch up with people .I only go for Wed and thru .Manage to talk to Jeffy , we talk about when red cross started how many are from "Hope" .Micheal . Emily , Jeff ,jas, ck ,Raymond and me .It already a CG size man.I sometime wonder does Hope Rp hate Red cross .Now it left me and Emily.How interesting ? When talking to Jeff , i am really tearing man . It like flashback when everyone want to make a impact in Red cross to glorify god .And now , it totally different.

I can say we did it in and way on another. The reason is people looked at our action .
I will say a CG can cannot contain new fruits it you cant contain the current fruits .It totally common sense .People may say why am i discouraging people .I will say it is not .

Because that mean you are not faithful with the current fruits .How can god bless you ?
Got a question to ask it the group even read this post = Did the group contact ck or raymond ?
It is a yes .I love that ans .
It a No . What the reason ? It is it because it the shepherd responsibility not your an a cg member . Yours know the ans .If a shepherd is that powerful why people leave because of a group .

I am quite lost haha I know i have to CONTINUE even all my love one had left .But the burden is heavy .Sometime i felt that i am carrying all their hope and dream .Sometime i just bomb all to god .

Am i trapped in the past ? Some people may think that .A little haha the past is to be learnt for it .But sometime it not about me it my group .I wont used "these" group because it is my CG . And i treasure them till sometime i just follow.

And I tell you a secret , I trust my cg more than my shepherd .Why ? because his word sometime "A" action sometime "B" that what I think

My PP is done .God thank for being with me the whole time hehe .I felt that god give me a lot of chance to grow.Everyday you can grow , you just need to observe. haha

Will i be going service tomorrow ? I got three events crashed that include service.Haiz ....

2008-10-28T09:35:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm just watched high school muiscal 3 , I felt that it is the best out of the three.Maybe it the last one that why .LOL

Beside all the good music and dance .Something caught my heart , there a part where it talked about how "Gabriella" one of the main character had impacted the class.If I not wrong it nearly the lastly part.

It allows me to reflect that ,It true that one man It tough to change the world .But one man still can impact many at one shot .To me there three types of impact , one to one , one to many and one to world.

Which types are you using now ?
Hmmm I will say you can use the first two first .In order to impact the world you need to master the first two first that what i felt .If you cant impact one to one or many how it is possible for you to impact the world .

But nothing it impossible without god .I agreed
But mastering the first two it our part to play =)

Some question to ask ourselves
1) Are you impacting other now ?
if yes or no
--- why ?
2)You choose the people to impact or you see who need your impact you go ?
--- Why ?
3)After an impact you ave made ,ask this how my impact had benefits this person ? What the improvment needed for a greater one ?

Human's best + god's best = Best Parthership
Experience It !!

Being a Christian is not only about god .It also about relationship with man (Important)***** Because god love man

2008-10-24T22:47:00.003+08:00

Since my days in youth in hope , I have always been asking this question to god "Why I faced challenges tougher that anyone."People who know my life will agree. They tell me this most of the time "god let you experience it first so that in the future you can help other or impact them"

To me , sometime I am really not convicted .The reason is one man can impact . But many men impact more.I see people I impacted left one by one.How I felt ? Sometime words cant describe the feeling .

I told Kai en .i told him i feared to impact in the CG. The reason is sometime I felt that the strength i have sometime quite unless.As people who are close to me will then leave me .I not blaming them or what . I told kai en , I dont want to make another person leave the group .Obvious the right thing to do is to enocourage me .It true that what he did .I really took a while for me to stand after recieved the impact from mich and ray case.

But i managed some how .So i started to spend time with ck wanting to impact.Till now i can said I did hit my objective , as i see changes in his life .But he leaving . So what the conclusion ? Haiz.
All three left because of the group,that why i say even how great is my strength to impact .I will still lose to a group impact. Sorry this post ,it a little emo .

It a little self-pity i guess. haha sorry to those who dont understand this post.But if you want to understand it possible .Spend 5 mins to go to my level .=)

2008-10-23T22:32:00.003+08:00

Let update.......Tue it CG , hmmmm stun but the programme .Reasons is we went to share chirst .It being long since i am not prepared .But nevertheless just went.

Know what ? I am still fearful haha lame right .But I really thank god ,he give me courage and with the talent he given me .I manage to talk to the non-believers.

This events cause someone to leave the CG. Ck said he is leaving .Am I happy ? How I wish as i felt it only a some small problem .Why am I here today.If I leave because of what you gone through and how you felt .I have already left long before you come.

The one things you forgot.Is that Micheal & raymond Cases is different as yours.Dont used their cases to enahnce yours.How Well you know them ? What have you done to know their cases ? They are people very close to my heart .Even they are not around in the CG dont used them .

If you see a problem in the group do you even try doing something about it .If yes good for you .But I hope it a yes.For me i know deep in my heart micheal and raymond did.

Next , How do you define faithfulness to god ? You said "I am totally faithful to god I leave without regret"Btw no one can do it yet.So can I say only a perfect person can .But you are not perfect so you cant.

If you thinking of changing church .I would encourage you to reflect .If it is not your problem but the group only that great.But if you are the problem every were you go will be the same .
Take care my dear bro =)

And I really misses them

2008-10-12T23:39:00.005+08:00

It been long since I updated....Been lazy haha about a week ago I just got a new fren...Which is the "PSP".But it is not "MINE"=( It been challenging for me to focus on the things i do due to my new fren .Haiz I think it been long since I touched advance game technology.I only have Com,gameboy colour & the very big PS.

The PSP with me till the end of oct.But after the first week my dad had been complaining .And he kept thinking I bought it.I was like in my life ,I have never buy things with out asking beside foods and all that concern my needs not wants.

I intended to get a PSP .But if i cant have self-control for a month .How can I get one .It will surely destroys me haha .Haiz that quite common sense.Need more of god less of me =)

My mum lost quite a lot of money due to the drops of so many shares.Lost until really got burn.She just no want say.I thinked she scared my dad say her haiz.So I ask her how many "Zeros" She said more than 5 but less than 6=( That a lot wah .

Tat all .....=)

2008-09-18T00:05:00.003+08:00

haahaha the last post was quite emotional .My mum is a little stress .Based on the problem , she heard the side from my cousin but not the parents yet. And to make thing worse the father is no where to be found for the time being.

If I am my cousin ,I am quite lost haha but she dont know that god loves her haiz .I think god allow thing to happen in someone life for a purpose .

I have to do my best too.haha I need god to review what next ?

2008-09-16T23:08:00.005+08:00

My heart just hurt to much today .Received a news about my cousin Quiting sch not long ago. And today my mum told me my aunt had been ill-treating her .And even said she dont want her and want to give her back to her father.

I really cant believed it .All these while , i tot her mum loves her alot .And I know she loves her mum a lot .How it come to this.

Not long ago , she visited my another aunt ,spend time with them etc .Then she shared her side of the story .Take she have been working since sec one , was given 20 dollars for a weeks for 3 meals and now she is working her mum ask her to be involved in the house bills .Like water bill etc.

My mum added "how is she possible to quit school if her mum dont approved ? "Not possible right .

Tell you the truth .I feel like telling my mum if her mum dont want her can you take her .I dont mind another sis .She is quite pretty too but she is taken sad =( And I know if my family take her in .I will work .Because the load on my parents will not fair .

I came from a quite good family based on what I felt .Parents provide my need .Wanting the best of me .Try their best to understand me .I dont have many wants but I just love my family .
Sometime I am really greatful to god .Maybe I am easily contented .That why I have compassion for other faster .

At some point of time hope how I wished I have power .And just destory this kind of self-centre people .It obvious I have mixed feeling which is anger and saddeness .

I dont like to share this kind of thing on my blog .But I dont know who to share haha who can be my listening ear lol anyone ? Who can tank my emotion beside him .I need to pray I going nut in my brain ....Help ?

random ....I will never believe how good my family will be when god is in the centre .It is because I really felt my family is the best le .What if god is in the centre ? It Godlike LOL

Care group at Kallang Leisure Park

2008-09-01T22:29:00.003+08:00

Today when to Kallang Leisure Park for CG .When there an andrew give us teaching .I felt that today i like very alert to his teaching LOL .I tink because it is very cold haha

Had two teaching today .After the teaching we went walk walk .We walked to a cool place where show many things of the past .TV , telephone , toys etc .But there aqre some cool stuffs

Later when to arcade to play .haha play bball haha Kai en and me one team lol Andrew & Luke another and the last team is Ck & Nehe .Quite fun .I felt it rare that we play together like tat.After that the group spite ,so left ck ,kai en and me .haha

And Kai en is hungry to accompany him eat at KFC haha the place is like so little people la .After that went to a shop filled with anime stuffs .WoW I can go crazy there is so many imported goods which you will nv see in comic collection . I will got there buy gundam 00 collection and code geass collection trading cards .haha

Kai en and me took about 20min or more to walked through the whole shop .After that walked a few more shops then we headed hm .

2008-08-31T03:08:00.003+08:00

Friday decided to have lunch with mich as I really missed him . Come to think of it i been losing a lot of ppl .Wah I over slept that day . I was suppose to meet jas at 12pm at SengKeng Mrt .But I woke up at 1150am lol. Rush there rush there but still late ><>

We went to red cross HQ , as we were on the way we met mich , jeff and jeff's fren .haha we took a long time deciding where to eat .We ended up at some chinese place .LOL forgot the name le lol

We ate quite alot .....but I did not hit my objective which it too share life .haha I have to try harder lol .Raymond jiayou I will keep you in prayer .Michael there is always hope and you are nv forgotten =)

Deuteronomy 31:8

8 The LORD himself goes before you and will be with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged."

2008-08-29T01:00:00.003+08:00

Hmmmm I will say this holiday .It a crazy one .So many things happen until i dont know how to react .Many decsions is made around me , and the truth I really dont know how to react .Sometime I really want to be self -centre and dont care .But i felt it hurt more to be self- centre .LOL

Wed had a four men care group .Four men , Hmmm I never believe it .It guess there always the first time .Nehe , ck ,Kai en and me .Actually my plan of the day , wat a little effected .But nvm .
The expected time for cg to start was between 10 to 1030am. But It start about 1pm.And sadly I am the first to reach .LOL

I really hope it the last time there four ppl CG

But there sure some fun part . Games was fun .Kai en planned one sure fun la .It stations game .Each person go each station to solve puzzles .Some puzzles it tough .Today I played guitar .Lol but it tiring for me so many bar chords ><

haha after CG when home to rest .

Your Grace is Enough

2008-08-26T23:30:00.022+08:00

Hmmmmm today the result is out !!! Ahhhhhh I know i dropped quite alot .I Expected to get 3B & a C+ .The GPA to be like 2.875.That is what the best I can think off .It is because I know I put less that my 80% effort haha .

But to my "Amazed" , I still got my C+.But i got a B+ too .So my GPA became 3 for this sem .I tell you ,ppl will say luck or what .But I really dont think so .haha

As i was walking home , I really felt touched by god'grace .Grace is something we dont deserve but god still give .My new class is E45K .

I got some same classamate and a ex sch mates .Not so bad .

Unexpected

2008-08-24T10:56:00.002+08:00

Hmmmm I am receiving quite a number of surprises recently .....From ppl around me ...from god too .haha Sometime the surprises is good .But sometime it can give you heart attack.

But i remember what someone told me .I not about the situation .I about how you handle it .
Haha I am getting broke ahhhh.Really broke .When I am out .The truth is I cant eat 3 meals a day .Now travelling can kill me already .Bus and train both killed =( .Sometime I think alot before i go out .Holiday is the period I dont get constant pocket money .A bit stress up , haha my dad keep saying if no money dont go out so often .Keeping saying I must manage my financial.It not i dont know how to manage ><.I can manage by staying at hm la .My home it my comfort Zone .Foods no probem .Entertainment no probelm too .And Sengkeng got swimming pool .But haven go yet.The truth about be is I love to stay at home .haha

Some will say why dont work ? haha holiday i focus more in completing my pp .And i like so many other thing . haha I think that is one reason i dont like holiday .But I still do enjoy it . But Thank raymond for treating me sometime .haha But sometime I really dont like to make my problem your problem as it not very nice .Thank for being there =)

Wah I should not focus so much on the problem . Focus on god .I need more Faith =)

2008-08-19T20:47:00.007+08:00

Let continue from where i stopped....

Next we have....

Model the Way

Find your voice

Tools and techniques of leadership aren’t substitutes for who and what you are

Understand your own beliefs; can’t expect people to follow you if you don’t know what you believe

Affirm shared value

Honor diversity but find the common core

Shared values are the organization’s promise

Shared values are important, but not at the expense of dissent

Note:Good leaders must be clear in their own mind about their values and must be able to not only articulate them clearly, but to live them as well.

As I have always know setting and example it important .But sometime as a followers must know leaders are still human .They have there limitation .But I felt a least followers want is it leader's best that all .

Challenge the Process

Search for opportunities

Good leaders are fundamentally restless

Proactivity produces better results than reactivity

Training and the mental simulation that results can also result in unanticipated opportunities

Experiment and take risks

Good, successful leaders are ones who are willing to take a chance, fail, learn and try something new

Not every thing has to work every time, but always seek to generate small wins (they build into big ones)

Note:A good leader should also encourage initiative in others—it can result in new ways of looking at problems, can result in innovative solutions and greater commitment from members of an organization.

For me , I felt being initiative have some more benefits.For this point , it not only for leaders it for everyone .It is because in life , it not always about the results but the process .

As a christian , how can you know god better .It not a one days or one weeks things .It a life time maybe . It a process .

Now it the last one

Inspire a Shared Vision

Envision the future

Exemplary leaders are forward-looking
Requires two essentials:
¢Imagine the possibilities
¢Find a common purpose

Enlist others

You can’t do this on your own (you wouldn’t be a leader)
The best leaders are excellent listeners

Note:The vision of the future is a broad message to be conveyed and requires that you also look backward. It is important to see the big picture not just one-time occurrences

It the ended of the model .People who have been in church long enough will find all this 5 points familar .It is because we have been taught too .

For the vision part , where is own RP unit vision ah ?? Die le ah LOL ....No vision = Aimless Hmmm can I concluse that ? It just a question to thing about .

Today my mum prepared steamboat . Hmmm I am quite curious .So I asked "today special day ah ".....And I never expected her reply to be "Ya ,it my off day" LOL it super funny .I was stun a little .

2008-08-17T01:07:00.007+08:00

Woah it been long seen i ever updates .LOL let me show my audiences some photos my class too during the last week

Just came back from ALC leadership camp , whole body ache sad case .But it was quite fruitful.I want to thank god for being the source of my strength there .

For me , I set my camp objective b4 i went there .As it was a leadership camp , it was to enlarge my comfort zone and learn some new skills there .

Day 1

For the first day ,they intro the K & P model .K & P model mean Kouzes & posner's 5 practices of exemplary leadership.These 5 practices I felt i had learn before in church . You will know why i as i go through it during the process of the camp.

Encourage the heart

Recognize contributions

People within the organization are the ones who make things happen
Personalize recognition

Celebrate the values and victories

Celebrations don’t have to be public or elaborate, but they should be genuine acknowledgements of success (even small successes)
Celebrations can create a sense of community
Good leaders show they care

Note: Not everyone responds to recognition the same way; a good leader knows the people in the organization well enough to personalize the recognition

Interesting right ? In church , I remember we should encourage one another .If people had contributed in something words like "good job" or "great effort" should be said .

I also remember we should said thing to build people up .

For this point, it not only for leaders but followers too ...Because how good a team is .It based on all the people in the team.

Enable Other To Act

Foster collaboration

Create a climate of trust
Facilitate relationships
Be willing to share information and resources
One of the easiest ways to foster collaboration is by use of the word “we” instead of “I”
Ask questions, listen and be willing to take advice
Actively involve others

Strengthen others

Enhance self-determination
Develop competence and confidence
Seeing the potential in them

Note:You cannot be an effective leader if you don’t trust the people you seek to lead and people won’t accept you as their leader if they don’t trust you. Trust is contagious; but if lost it is much more difficult (and sometimes impossible) to re-earn.

For this practice , I recalled a saying I heard in church .Which is , " I do , You See " , " I do , You do " and lastly " I See , You do "

For this , sometime you need to give other a chance to share their thinking .

Sorry audiences , I a little tired .......To be continued

2008-07-22T22:51:00.004+08:00

Making a Differences

WON'T YOU LORD
TAKE A LOOK AT OUR HANDS
EVERYTHING WE HAVE
USE IT FOR YOUR PLAN

WON'T YOU LORD
TAKE LOOK AT OUR HEARTS
MOULD IT, REFINE IT, AS YOU
SET US APART

WE WANT TO
RUN TO THE ALTAR
AND CATCH THE FIRE, TO STAND IN THE GAP
BETWEEN THE LIVING AND THE DEAD
GIVE US A HEART OF COMPASSION
FOR A WORLD WITHOUT VISION
WE WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE
BRINGING HOPE
TO OUR LAND

WE WILL
ANSWER THE CALL
TO BUILD THIS CHURCH WITHOUT WALLS

LET YOUR GLORY BE SHOWN

BRING SALVATION TO THE LOST,

TO THE LOST...

This Song hit me ,super hard today ....to hard till no comment .

Am i really using my life for god ?
Do i really want god to mould my heart ?
Am i having compassion for the people around me leading life without a purpose ?
If i want to make a differences , am i investing my life in people lifes ?
How eager am i to run toward god ?
Are my actions showing that i love god ?

These are only some Questions that rushed into my head ...You can try answering those Questions ?

2008-07-17T00:23:00.004+08:00

Wow i felt that there many things in my mind ? My dear bro mich what should i do to help you ? haha sadly i am quite affected by you .Therfore resulted me to be a little lost dots ....

Where my shepherd ? haha attended service for two to three weeks le after my bday week ..Still nth was really settle .If i am a new-b , i long gone .Some people felt that i not very stable now .

Hmmm it true to an extent .During my bday week , i was totally disappointed by words that is said to me . I really want to just scream at the person and said "dont act you know me very well" & It not that i do not open to you but you nv even bother to take the first step to want to understand me .

After weeks ,why am i going church ? haha am i left out ? Sometimes unless i take the first step to talk to other . Haha ...I will say ..I really cant imagine how will i react to the sitution i am now .If i received god a year later or so .I dont think i will even surivived.

I make it through my first 10 months in T without a Shepherd .But i think the reason is that i have a bro with me who want to understnad more about god's heartbeat .And spread god perfect and unconditional love to other .Both of us had been supporting one another through these 10 months ....We laugh about our mistakes , rejoys when souls are been save , tears when people reject god and encourage each other when we are weak .

When we have a shepherd , many things changes .I think the one of reason is that in the past is we lead ourselves but now people leading .haha at the start you were close with our shepherd .I was not open at all .

Reasons
1) I open up to people who truely want to know me
2)I need time
3)I dont know my shepherd at all

When i dont open to him , he dont talk to me one .When i open he comment everything like he know me for years .

To me , if i want to judge i will say when people is open to you .It show you have power over that person .On the other dont misuse the power because the power is given by the person .LOL

It being weeks , since he talk to me , haha he has 5 sheeps now , me , mich , nehe , ray & kaien .But he not meeting me , dont talk about meeting it been log since we had a normal conversation .People may say i am jealous my shepherd not meeting me. But the issues is we dont even talk at all .LOL ...Sometime i think to myself , is a sheep that cheap .You want you have dont want throw .It rare in my life , i experienced this, it give me an impression like a shepherd dont want the sheep haha .Normally , the sheep bites the shepherd but now it different .For me , i can understand my shepherd is a human after all .

I heard he is recovering after a bite or what i dont know . But if you dont wan talk or want to change sheep you can let me know .Because i dont want it to hang there.Sometime i really wonder i am your sheep because no choice (because of the system) or you want one .These are just some my mind only .

The reason i am still going to service etc

Because I know I need god .

2008-07-13T23:34:00.002+08:00

When to look read up some old teaching .

I read the last lesson of 18 lesson , how often do people read 18 lesson ? Haha i dint know but i felt the 18 lesson is your foundation building .

Lesson 18 : Commitment to a local church

Why is the church importance ?

1) God want to reveal his eternal purpose and his plan through the church .
2)The church is an instrument that god uses to expand his kingdom

Ephesians 3:10-11
10His intent was that now, through the church, the manifold wisdom of God should be made known to the rulers and authorities in the heavenly realms, 11according to his eternal purpose which he accomplished in Christ Jesus our Lord.

3) God intended to build his church

Matthew 16:18
18And I tell you that you are Peter,[a] and on this rock I will build my church, and the gates of Hades[b] will not overcome it.[c]

Meaning of the church

It mean a group of people called to come out and to be free form sin and the power of Satan and enter the righteousness and the light of god .

The bible used this word as a group of committed christian not as a building

What it mean by committed christian ? (Do your own research)

There is two types of church in the bible
1)Universal church

- Which mean those who believe in te lord , repent and be born again every place
It like christian in general

2)Local church

-Which mean a group of committed christian that gather together in the same area and meet together on a regular basis
-We cannot see the universal church in a practical way .
So the local church relates to our daily life of christian

I think that all for today .There a link below

Title :Mark of a committed christian
http://www.biblebb.com/files/MAC/GTYTT01.HTM

2008-07-07T16:25:00.002+08:00

WoW i Survive today ...Had a emotion Warfare , smsed in classAnd i got shot like Crazy .Was so ......angry and stunning by all the person answer .Super felt like walking out of class , go home and sleep.

But i make it today haha .During first break , randomly listen to a song .

"Hillsong - Rest in you" It really confort me haha

Your faithfullness endures always
Where mountains fall and reason fails
And You calm the raging seas
And You calm the storms in me, again

All I know is I find rest in You
All I know is I find rest in You

My heart will praise throughout the night
Where singing seems a sacrifice
Your grace is all I need
Your grace is all I need

2008-07-06T23:29:00.003+08:00

I am emotionally drain ...God i need your wisdom ...By my own i really dont see hope ...But through you there is hope ....haha

Your grace is enough =)

2008-07-06T13:55:00.004+08:00

Hmmmm Last week and this week service was great .

Speaker:Pastor Simon

Title :Maximizing Your Student Life

1)Build Spiritual foundation

Basic
1.1)Reading and understanding the bible

1.2)Prayer life
-How often do we pray for the ppl around us

1.3)Church Life
- Are we missing Service ?

2)Acquire Skills

2.1)Learning to serve

Being involved in people life not just doing act of service

-this is the point which i hope people apply haha .I not easy to be involve in people life as people nature are self-centre .

2.2)Leadership
-Dare to try as god see the potential in all of us to do great thing for him

2.3)Administrative

-Management
Eg .Data ,People ,Notes

3) Manage your resource

Key : Knowing how to manger yourself

3,1)internal principle

3.2)Time & talent

3.3) Life -style
-Having a healthy life style so that you can do more

For this week is Turning weakness into strengths

1) Weakness keeps us humble

Sin is not equal to weakness

Weakness can be cause by our surrounding

How you know you are humble ?
- you will appreatice people around us

2) Weakness cause us to rely on god more

3) It reveal god 's strength

Both strengths and weaknesses are equally important

When to watch HanCock at E hub at 215am .

It am interesting movie .

It quite true it show that everyone wan to be like and love . In the begining , he do thing his way with a movtive to help which cause people to dislike him . This reflected back to the world sometime we do things with a good heart to help people but with the wrong methods .

So it show in order to help .You need a willing heart and wisdom to choose the best way

But no one really know how hancock felt .Until he save a man called " i forgot le " .That man went to his level to understand what hancock is feeling and his needs in order to help him .

For us ,sometime we said we want to help you frens this and that but do we go the extra milies to understand the person 's feeling and needs first .It because this will also us to find the root to the problem .

The person who need help also need to admit he or she need help la .If you dont admit you are weak there is no way people can help you .

The ending part was as interesting part .But i have a few angle in looking at it .
1) Looking at the big picture
2) Win Win Solution

You should watched it.

It being two weeks since andrew never talk to me and suddenly he prasie me during my celebration. Got that weird funny that it all ctraps .But it a feeling but so glad he talk to me .Is like wow my shepherd talk to me lol .So happy lol

2008-07-02T11:16:00.008+08:00

Got Very nice song to Share with my audience ..

This road that I'm taking twists and turns
My life my chance turning dreams into reality.
Down this path faced with so many things
Sometimes I feel like giving up and turn away

Can't seem to go on
And I've been thru' this before
Now where am I?Where do I stand?
A little lost here.But I'll remember.
All those times you've bought me thru'.
I'd be a fool to give up cos' the goal is near

I'll move on
I'll go on.Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on

Here I am Once again caught in the rain.
Looking back I've come so far And I want to carry on
Take a step at time
It's alright.
Even thru' this rain, I want to smile again

Don't hold back now.
And i've been thru' this before.
Now where am I?
Where do I stand?
A little lost here.
But I'll remember.
All those times you've bought me thru'.
I can feel the sun shining down on me

Here I am, Here I am.
Lord I will take your hand.
And you will guide me along.
Survive thru' this storm.
So I say, come what may.
I'll hold on to my hope.
Yes, I will walk down this road.
And my passion drive will lead me on.

2008-06-25T21:36:00.002+08:00

These are some photo taken at my ex form teacher weddin

g ...

2008-06-22T12:01:00.017+08:00

Haha The process of my brithday was interesting ....

On Fri when i reached home recived a big present which was my phone bills =_=" 224 dollars . Haha it just spoil my mood to go watch movie with my parents .

But nevertheless my family still when to watch .We went to AMK Hub to check what late movie they have , mum chosen "The happening" Time slot :1150pm

The movie Quite Lame . To me a bit felt that i wasted time watching .But my parents say it ok .But i do enjoy spend time with them .The movie ended about 1 plus about 2 .And i felt like eating supper .I can see that my parents look super tired already but they just said no problem .

On the other hand , i haven done my rj .So i decdied not to go for supper but go home to do rj and to let my parents rest so that they go energy to do the preparation on Sat .Really Love my family .They are often come out of their Confort Zone for me .=)

Went home took a shower then when to do rj ...Slept about 4am

On Sat, woke up about 8am ...Prepare myself to meet Ray , Meli and Gs at 11am . But only Ray meet me only , in my heart was abit sad .But i know they are there by spirit =)

We went for first service , which talk about "the charge" and i expected it to be te same as 3rd service indeed it the same LOL

After Service when to eat with Ray again as Ray was waiting for Andrew .Ray passed me the gift which he ,Gs and Meli got for me .It simple but sweet ,Thank a lot .

Accompany Ray to meet Andrew , when andrew came i wanted to leave but andrew ask me to stay for awhile .

Talk about some stuff like why i never tell the Cg i got BBQ .Why i invite the Gals i nv ask their CL for pemmisson .Saying the CG long to celebrate with me which i find it tough to believe .I wonder does andrew remember my birthday or people told him one .After all these question he just bye bye enjoy your day .I dont know if i am too tired a not but i heard dont spoil Ray's day . I felt like he chasing me off . Haha dont assume things about me .If you assume it would be better to clarfiy .

The talk with andrew a bit spoil my mood .Haiz = (

Just to let my audience know the first person to wish me was my Ex shepherd "Alvin Koh" It was stunning Because he was in Army camp that day .But actually i cant say first because a few came in together .

Let fast forward the post is getting boring . First 3 guests ,mich , viv and fione haha they came quite early .Chat a litte , eat and eat and eat .

I am surpised we can do this for hours .About 10 plus fione sis came to pick he up so sweet right haha I find it sweet .LOL if i got an older bro I it is sweet that he come pick me too lol But sadly i am the oldest lol

So at this point of time Viv and fione left .

However the biggest group of guests just arrived ,But they are late ....Next everyone started Eating woah !

Eat and eat and EAT .We talk about spirtual stuffs about about what are we going to do for god Etc .We chat till about 2am then we cut the cake which was bought by this group lol .And people start serving one another automaticly .

Took a few group phtotos and everyone started taking with me .I was a little stun really ..lol

This is what they gave me ....

2008-06-20T00:14:00.004+08:00

Let blog about What happen yesterday , when out with a fren for lunch at Far east Long Jhn ....After lunch , We went to walk walk .....I think We walk for very long ....Took Some funny photo we like small kids like that LOl

Today bought a Gundam .....One of the Gundam Throne From the Anime Gundam 00

2008-06-18T23:26:00.002+08:00

Just dropped a short Post ......I still want to use my life to impact other ....I just ask myself how many life have I impacted ? hahahaha i cant really answered ..... BUt i remember the time in camp during the last day when you are suppose to give a string to people who have impacted your life ....I did recevied quite alot of strings but one question i ask myself is when they tired it on my hand what impact they are refering surface or deep impacts ...LOL I hope it deep :p

A special event is coming ... Wonder what god have in mind haha what will he do ...Which i can say it 100 % it the work of him ...Not men ....haha I dont expect much haha ....My vision of using my life as a vessel for god to use ...

Time it something i treasure the most in life...And it is something i wont treat it as an expectation from the people around me to give me theirs ....To me it a gift from them =)

2008-06-01T23:35:00.005+08:00

Wahhh before everything , let update about my injury ...my dad rub my ankle for me again ...And he said "Hmmm i tot the pain should be here , but why here "..........I was like Dots ....THen he added "Hmmm this is not a simple injury " As he was rubbing he found some other injury around that area ...I was like "erm" i dd not noticed ...Wah internal injury ....Outside like ok but inside i dont know ....lol...haha i was like shouting "pain ,pain & pain".....My mum was like saying "good " .It will recover faster .It quite funny .Hehe =) Hmmm a little Worry ....I think that a lie , quite Worry ...A lie too ....Very Worry lol

My secondary school form teacher Wedding is coming ....haha I dont what to wear LOL...

2008-05-29T20:57:00.002+08:00

Haha did have AN interested week , and tomorrow it the last day of school before a two weeks holiday haha ...

On mon , when for some Cg teaching after school and UT . Super tired and learnt that before le ...Not to be "not supportive" but just listen ...lol

After that , as i was on the Way out of School , I did not see a Step and Step on air ....Then Twisted my right ankle , I was like "crap" Super pain ...I can say that was my first time twisted my ankle dots la ....The CG prayed for me , i normally dont have much faith in healing one cause i know everything happen for a purpose .So if you injured is god allow it what ...haha

Cant really walk , the more i walk the more pain it is LOL...The worse thing is i have to cross a overhead bridge to my house ...I took quite a while to cross it ...

When back , rest a little too pain and lazy to do rj , drag and drag but still manged to do it ...As my dad was sleeping ,told my mum about it .My mum was like "what you thinking at that point of time "haha super funny

After i bath , she rubbed my ankle for me .And told me if can ask my dad to send me to school the next day if too pain dont go school .I was like "interesting "

It was tue morning , and i really cant wake up , my mum was that "Hey your dad said he will send you to school so faster" .As i got out from bed , my ankle was more pain ...I was like "haiz"

My heart dont know if i should go school a not .But my heart "just said go and see who is install"SO i went to school , my sis was so loving ,due to my ankle i cant do things fast to my sis who had school have to wait for me .

I told her ,you ask dad to send you .I go myself .She said "never mind late only what"
I was like "woah" That is one of the rare moment my sis phone me above her ...Not saying she very bad ...BUt i am touch .....

I reached school quite early about 740am .Had some tough time walking but still can ...As i on my lap , to my horror my Internet got problem ...Cant connect for about half a day ...Quite sian as i can do much but i did my best in going around my team to discuss ...
Quite irritated at that point , but i know there are many thing i cant control just make the best out of the whole situation.

Haha Some of my frens did ask am i ok ...I was a little surpised but at least they bother lol....

To Be continue ...

2008-05-25T09:20:00.006+08:00

Haha I am here to testified how faithful is god if you decided to choose and do what is right before him . Firstly I am so glad that Fione and Roy came for service yesterday haha and as you choose to please him he will bless ...But sometime if you dont please him he will still bless ...

Yesterday service what the FULL summary of what i have learnt from what i gone through from Arete Camp till not long ago .If you say it a fun process .I will say "Na" I never even Enjoyable .The reason why i said it a summary , it is because after I make my decision then this sermon come . I did wonder "why didn't this sermon come when i am in the storm "...I did asked god How lame(not phy) can he be ....haha

As the whole sermen is preached Point to point , I cant stop laughing .The reason is that , at every points , i remembered the moments which god test or reminded me on that point.

The feeling was like "Hmmm That was interesting ". haha

I felt that this whole experience for the two months in like God"s action to me .As for me , i always felt that action Speak the most .

God also meet my concern , beside giving a summary for me ,it also reminded people who are very dear to me about their responsibility....My heart was like "Woah" You sure know what am i worrying about "

I will say specifically , I will say it the decision making part .Yes,No and Maybe/Dont know ....As maybe and dont know it already a decision .

For me , it may be think of the bridge - diagram which you used to share christ to other . As i remember clearly , after you share there are three stick man on the paper

1) yes your want to receive god into your life

2)Not so sure // maybe / don't know

3)No

Why is "Not so sure / maybe / don't know "included ..I did wonder a while ...But nevertheless i always got my answer .It somewhere in my head but can say got rusty LOL .The answer is it still a decision .

It made me reflection on myself , for me personally, I don't really like people to use those words....if i am not wrong i forgotten why .I will say from the start of the sermen to the ended i never stopping thinking .....

Wah i getting lazy ...It too long la ....I like being detailed but tired sia ....

Lastly the reminder of "Ownership" & "Parthership" were brought in .....

After Service , sented Fione to her sis and they went to eat .

For me , when back to the group for dinner ..Then Etc ...Lazy ....

2008-05-22T23:27:00.005+08:00

Wahwah God you too interesting le la .....Can you give me a break ...Sometime i barely survived a day haha .... =(

haha Roy ask me an interesting question , why my life revolved around god ? Come to think of it why ? It being a christian fun ??? Haha that depend ...Out of my 6 years is is like bad time more than good time la ...I think if you want to grow like that one la ...A bit dumb i felt sometime " why grow so fast " Grow too fast wait cant manage haha .....How i wish i am more stubborn can grow slower haha ...

The more you grow the probelm get even more crappy ....If you think god is a simple god ..Na i doubt so ..he is the most complex one ...If he can come out with a human brain you know how complex can he be .....But he can be simple hoping god no mood swing ...

Why do i do what i do ? Maybe i felt it was the right thing to do .Despite all the stress i faced ...

I do envy ppl leading a simple life ....
Come sch do their best in their study , after sch hang out with frens updates about each other ... Go home spend time with family ...I will say a person only need a few frens dont need many ...

haha come of think of it , in church ppl all are your bros and sis ....Hmmmm how many are our hi byes sibling haha make sense ?

As i was bathing i thought of something interesting ....it about spirtual family ...Which you look as a whole is the church ...If you look Short term it Caregroup ....As you change not often but quite alot of time in a life -time ....Hmmm So where is your long term one hahah It will be your family with the future parther haha isnt that interesting ....

I dont know how true is it ...But i felt god make ppl who wan a simple life lead it ver complex and ppl who wan a complex life to lead it simple ...

For me everything in my life are all expected , the more we dont wan he will bomb , and usual he nth better to do .

2008-05-22T20:49:00.009+08:00

Til I See You

The greatest love that anyone could ever know

That overcame the cross and grave to find my soul

And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home

I'll trust in You

With all I am I'll live to see Your kingdom come

And in my heart I pray You'd let Your will be done

And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home

I'll trust in You

I will live to love You

I will live to bring You praise

I will live a child in awe of You

You are a voice that called the universe to be

You are the whisper in my heart that speaks to me

And till I see You face to face and grace amazing takes me home

I'll trust in you

You alone are God of all

You alone are worthy Lord

And with all I am my soul will bless Your name

haha Thank for your conforting Words

2008-05-22T13:10:00.006+08:00

God you are so interesting ...haha things happening around me looked so expected ...Does that proves that my judgement is always right ??? That depend but if i based on obsevation it more or less right....But once is a while my judgement may be wrong ....

One things i know judgement is always pass on to people due to their action or speech .But cant be movtive ....It is something unseen ...So That why the word "trust" comes in ..it the key ....

A bit cant believe ...As how i wish what i see is not what i expected it to be .... haha Emo for 3 mins to 5 mins only ...

I need all my good habits back haha like if you angry or sad , emo or complain to god a few mins then faster moved on le haha

Am i alone .....haha i may look like that ...But haha WHO knows haha

lalalalala god test is always interesting but i starting to loving it again haha "god make my heart to loves it more "

Just to updates my readers i will do reflection daily...Reflection in god 's Words haha ....

2008-05-20T23:09:00.004+08:00

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things.
Romans 2:1

Thank Daph

It a reminder .....

Interesting ...To me , if you cant be bother about the person why bother to even passed judgement .Waste brain cells and Time ....

I think it a grey area , haha if you cant judge , correcting is a kind of judgement haha How ???

So must hunt for the balance =)

In christian Living , there are many Grey Areas ,Want to play find me , Dont want to play also can find me

Haha If you dare to play .Prepare to be hurt and to destory other....Both come hand in hand ...

If you dont want to be hurt destory other ....If you dont wan to destory other then be hurt haha

For me , i am a type of person , who like WinWin and loselose Situation .

Is like in a business two companies decided to parther with one another .Both company sure want to gain their expected profit at the end of the day .As i said it expected profit , if the cant gain what they expected the will discuss so that both company agree .That is provided that the parthership mean alot to them .

LoseLose ...Hmmm i think what i mean it a draw haha

But sometime we have to lose to benefits the so called big picture ....

haha The process can be rubblish but at least it hit the objective.

It like math ....you can do so many steps but never hit your objective which is the correct answer la .Your mind will say sian have to rework or Wrong only what ...But when you hit the objective , you will say woah my hardwork pay off .....

Why am i in church that an interesting question ???

Just Stop to think what i do why i do ???
If i wan to be a slack christian i rather choose the world .....

Being a slack chirstian = No purpose and wasting time

Let me take some time to reflect people to impacted my life in the spiritual sense i mean . First of all , want to thank god for "Lynn" thank for all your encouragement ,correcting and rebuking haha not many people bother to i guess ...Hmmm i think not i think fear me. But who care haha .

Despite being shouted at sometime ,you choose to link everything you haven spoken to god's words . Even you cant do much you still reminder me to seek god .

Hmmm i can say my dad nowaday he bother to go to my level to understand me .On the other hand i go to his level to understand his thinking .I sure love it being two ways not one-sided .haha

Sometime i wonder will god tested me in this area a not .Because one thing i can proud about in my life is my family haha I think dont even need to wonder one is SURE test one la ....God got many trick up his sleves one .LOL..

If i want to blog everything its in my mind ...I think it will be a rollcoaster ride Postitive to negative , Hopeful to hopeless .haha

2008-05-17T14:25:00.004+08:00

Let me up date with a song that make me "Emo" Haha and it make ppl emo too lol

Part of a Fool

I've been there before and just can't let go.
The memories and pain of the hurt i know.
Now deep in the night, and there's passion inside....
Dare i follow my heart?

An innocent smile, then a walk in the night.
Then it's dinner at home served with candlelight, and it's been quite a while since i felt good inside.
Dare i follow my heart?

Do i feel something special inside of you?
Do i know what you really think of me?

And the raindrops keep falling into my heart,
and i just can't deny what feels so right.
Do i let myself go and feel the rain,
or should i play with caution and refrain?
Whatever i do, when it comes to you,
i know sometimes love plays the part of a fool.

I know what's in store though i can't say much more.
A chance worth the taking has opened its door;
and i can't say i love you, and i can't say i don't,
but i do wish i knew.

by Juwita Suwito

I will put the song up for a while ...

2008-05-14T21:06:00.003+08:00

Got my new mouse .....Borrow two books with some interesting content .It all about the mind .My mum hope i can read some other than mind thinking book .She said in life there are many things you can control .I said sometime it help understand oneself .I will say i understand myself quite well .Why i felt this way ? What can i do to prevent it ? Etc

I find the content super interesting ...It can apply to ANYONE ....BLIND SPOT !!!

2008-05-14T10:24:00.005+08:00

Yesterday We quite a great day , many unexpected things happen yesterday or maybe i took the chance to take the first step . My lesson was as tough as usual .Never one day i say it is easy . MAth and math and math .One mistake all wrong .That why this kind course training you to be criticital & detailed thinkers . Sometime i think i am quite a critical & detailed person.But if you see some of my faci you speechless .I will say the world love critical & detailed people as they are very practical .haha

Let moved on from lesson ,yesterday i also have my NYAA meeting .After most of my classmates left .And what remain was some classmates who was joining NYAA or Red Cross .So i just saw the chance to know them better .So i ask them if they want to go to the canteen to have a bite first .Haha as expected they agreed .I manage to talk to them beside she work .haaha for me my class have more gals than guys again which i dont like .So i dont talk a much in class .But at that point of time they were a little surprised i am quite talkative .

I will say i managed to know them a little different be surface relationship .One of my classmates will be one of the committee member of the NYAA club but i really hope i am not .But like cant run one .LOL

Next will be an unexpected visit to Mind cafe , I did told someone or some people i not going .Just to clarfy i did not lie .haha it just due to unforseen situation then i decided to go. Go then indirect i felt at the begining people was like dont like to see me go like that haha really i dont get that feeling haha

But maybe i think too much haha

If you ask me did i enjoyed i will only say still ok ...haha
On the way home did some clarfying which i like to do .But not alot of people like haha

haha when at hm , i saw one of my old fren emoing online so i decide to drop i msg "emoing ah "
As usual She will say " not la bahbahbah " Then she started to pour her probem haha about BGR again i think i handle this type of case more than i faced it .LOL facing it required a mind power it alone can be draining .But also must depend what the problem ,some probelm very easy settle but say untill ver complex haha .

haha let moved on , the sad think she keep saying i forgoten her haha i was like "err" .My heart was like i think it the other way .But on the other hand i see it a chance to in her for service haha

I do wonder how many vistiors got will give me haha i sure want to see my fren to convert and grow constantly .Not convert after a while then leave .If not why waste time converting .haha that my thinking haha .

This blog dont know me well ...haha if you get it good

2008-05-11T10:03:00.007+08:00

HAPPY MOTHER 'S DAY haha

For me , my mum know that i love her that for sure ...haha And if you think stephen a type of person who can be very sweet you are wrong .For me i felt that i really can do alot of funny thing to show the people whose i treasure that they are really valuable in my life .But what i do sometime have to be fitter so that it will not to stumble people which i never like to do .
But since it for my mum i will stumble no one muahaha =)

haha I was reminded by my ex shepherd .He is a really sweet bro haha .I can really during v-day he will buy roses for all his sheeps .I will say not many guy shepherd will do that haha for me i know him as someone who reall show love by action haha .

Let get started , sat i went hm quite early to prepare the monther day gift with my sis .The actual plan was the prepare should be done by 12am .But i did not . My mum was camping in my room using my lappy . And my sis was hunting around the house for her LOST key .How interesting ?

The whole thing dragged for quite long ...We start doing at about 12plus ....

I am not good at art but i can say my sis is better .haha we folded my heart . She did more on the straws hearts as she had more time in the afternoon i did the paper hearts .I reuse the black board remained on ck bday haha

These are some hearts that i folded

This is the 90% work done before adding our notes

This the final product

We finished the whole thing at about 3 plus 4 haha interesting but it rare that i work with my sis to do things together lol .

The reason why we have to do so late because my mum had work the next morning .So in the morning she can see it when we are sleeping lol

After everything , one of my good fren from youth came to talk to me online .His name is walmond kan .He is a drummer in Wam in youth .

haha he one of my ex shepherd . Beside asking about mum day , he ask about my gf haha as usual . I will say he like to aim that area of my life .As in youth he like to tease me .haha but he is a loving guy .As random as usual , his view about BGR is quite open haha he said if it good for you go ahead haha I will say WAM ministry it a total different minitry .He and his ex sheep all entered Y-WAM quite young .Both of them were in my ex cg in youth . Walmond enter wam when he was 16 his sheep 15 haha interesting right .It a total different lives style there trust me

Sometime i am proud to be in "St Andrew Sec " As there are quite a number of strong people in church who are related to SA. There is like 3 musicans in Y-Wam whose are in my ex Cg before .So cool .

I think i going to sleep Wahwah i keep thinking ......

2008-05-06T19:58:00.003+08:00

Interesting interesting interesting ....I felt many interesting thing is happening to me .Firstly let talk about today ...Today then a training Class conducting my Andrew for the unit ...In the mornin i was like thinking should i go or not ....But due to today tough problem i dont not really think much ....After school , i when to the canteen to wait for the unit .I was surprise gal group got do confirmation who is going .Then i ask andrew "whose who nv give confirmation can dont go right" To me he just avoided it ...He may think it is wise i dont know .

But i will said we waste alot of time ....I was like "huh" can we maximize our time ...I totally no comment la it about 1hour plus just sit down ....I felt my heart was not ready for this teaching which to me it a skills factor.

Learn how to do ,dont mean we will do it .

I was struggling to go or not...As i dont like to do thing for the sake of doing ...It do or dont ...I dont know if many ppl noticed but it over ...I was like asking god can you hint me ??? As we walk to the liabaray found a room , before andrew was about to start he said "you guys came heart because you have the heart to learn or etc etc " Everyone was like yeah yeah yeah !!! I was like is it a hint ??? Hmmmm Everyone was like so happy and i have the pressure not to leave ...But i took it as a hint ....So i say my heart is not ready can i leave....The room Suddenly become so silent I was like "ok"...Andrew was like i tot i meeting you later ...He said "really ah" Then he said "ok"....

On the home , i nv felt so realx before .Like a big stone on your heart MIA..Quite joyful on the way back .....When i reached home , i did not eat my dinner . I nv even said a word when i reached hm i just walk to my room change ...Then my mum came to me and said"hey i brought dinner for you .It on the table go eat "

I was LIKE you must be joking !!! It is so WOW !! How she know interesting right ??

Then i asked hey mum how you know i haven eat yet ???
And i will say mum can be quite lame at time ...She answer "because i your mum what "
I was Like DOts la !!!!

Really love my mum !!! She really a person who let her action do the talking ....Doing so many thing but nv complain and dont wished for any return...Sometime the one different i can say between my family and my spirtual family is one know chirst one dont .

2008-05-04T01:24:00.003+08:00

Haha today when back home for dinner after Service , interesting i think my family like worry about me LOL....

I think abit too emo haha but do some acting ...My mum cook Chicken Soup today haha ...But i learn le haha but scared cant remember lol...

I really felt very love ...Because i reached hm at about 9 plus everyone have already eaten .But i still see a lot of Soup left .

I asked my dad "yours never drink soup ah ??"
My dad reply " I think your sis will drink second round later "
Then he added " Hmmm maybe they felt you might need more than them "

My heart really melted Wahwah...

After that When out with jas LOL than is quite late .....She ah no comment ...keep doing things like want ppl attention ...When to drink with her and chat a little ...I think i made ppl worried ..ver sorry haha then send jas to bus stop then went home to rest ..... LOL

2008-05-02T09:37:00.004+08:00

Haha 1st may wat a rreally a crazy day ....Emotion just went up and down haha Up as in not that high but down it super terrible ....

Before that i am a bit stress with issues in my life .We are suppose to go to sentosa to celebrate Andrew Bday .

I went there with three objective :

1)To Relax A little
2)Celebrate Andrew Bday (My shepherd) (Spend time with him )

I will break that day into a few posts: As it is a ver long day

Dear readers i will filter as little as i Can , No name will be said at all so no worries

I went to this event with expectation to relax and to enjoy haha

Let start the day going , In the morning , some of the RP unit meet at harbour fort MRT Station at 11 am. After meeting we went to Shop for Andrew's present and his Cake haha As i walked and talked , i really enjoy the time .

Let moved a little faster , if not it really a long post .When we reached Sentosa , did at a fun time at the begining .Talking ,Swimming ,Listening to the waves it so .... Like worries free . But this period last for a while only .

Haha When i started to see somethings tat stunned me .That mean it not only one thing LOL haha .....To be Continue in my second POST i wore Long sleeves today i Forgot that i playing bball with classmates today .... Haiz

2008-04-30T10:21:00.003+08:00

Yesterday had my shepherding with Andrew .....Time spend not that fruitful as i am a little tired ....But i think i am stumble by wat he said .My heart was like Stunned and it is long ever since i felt that way .I can say my shepherd is very understand as he bother to choose to listen to how you felt , thinked for a while before he continue the conversation .

I am disappointed by something in my heart . I was like thinking what crap is this ah ?? Not funny la !!! i will say maybe my EQ a bit too high that why if i compare the way something are done is not really wise . Haha But nevertheless THANK god i am recovering . If not I will say BRING IT ON and challenge me in human relation lol
"Not trying to say i am ver good ,but better"

But in life , there a many disappointment if not that is not life ....haha ....Btw i hate doing thing when i am not doing ver well or i can say recovering a bit turn off . Ppl who are doing well wat you doing ah lol or many ppl not doing well LOL

A phrase for my audience " The most expected will be the most unexpected" This will prevent all of you from stumbling from things you see , faced or heard .=)

( Warning I not aiming at any problem or person or group .I had filter many parts le .If you wan to know what really happened then ask me .It is just a room to share what going on in my life LOL )

2008-04-28T20:57:00.005+08:00

My bible had been repaired thx to Jaslyn=) Love it lots hehe it can be a bday present to me heheeh =)

2008-04-27T17:57:00.003+08:00

As i said , i thinked it is my last post .
But who know ....come to think of it ...blogging it like almost the only way to share my thou le ....i hate to filter my words as it is the truth ...And truth hurt that for sure ....

Shared someting about me , i not as close to god as before ... but i wan to be close....I can say i only recovered 20% only

But if you wan to tear me down you have to bear the conquences after that ...One the other hand i will try not to be tear down ...

For example i choose to do thing to stumble you and you choose to be stumble that is both parties fault.But i choose not to be stumble that the other party fault le .

if not i will say build me with love .

Thank god i brought that book ....one that day i just felt i need to buy it ...It about leadership

Spirtual life is like a wall to protect our life ......I hurt alot when i read it .....Seeing how much i have fallen .

But who care haha it only fall wat haha ...
( it abit stumbling pretend you nv read if it will effect you )

But i thank god for some ppl in my lives ... i will not say name here it in my heart ... you may just say two words to me " jia you " But it encouraged me a lot ....I dont need 1o series.... i read the bible as story book i also know haha

2008-04-21T00:05:00.004+08:00

Haha i think this will be my last post of the year ......i wonder where can i share my thoughts and feeling beside god .....a few ppl but they are busy ppl you know haha ....

Got a few words ----For jas ,if you feel the same way as me ...I wan you to be part of the process of creating what is call a spirtual family ....Interesting right ? It true one man can change the world but it is also true that a team can change many worlds ....=)

Also to ppl who felt the same ways .... The process is nv easy ... But the result it something that will last forever ...God will carry us if we allow ...Tell you the truth i also hate the process .But it is the process which also us to be closer with god ....haha

To people who what me to open my life to you ---- It a process too thx for your understand ....Hint: Action speak louder than words =)

To whole of rp unit......One of our weakness is that we did not think before speaking ....I will say that is mine nowaday as i dont see the value .....But if you really wan to see ppl love this family we have to change as a whole ...Hmmm there is another weakness , which is we must be more observant about other ppl needs .....We need to improve in our observation skills =)

2008-04-20T12:26:00.002+08:00

Service was great ......haha did some reflection haha about taking ownership of ppl spirtual well being haha and the caregroup....For me personally how i wish i can just take ownership of the things i wan to . For me i have not no one under my care but all the unconneted one if you ask me sian a not i will say sure la ....It like soloing again haha ...I really can say god really work through me if only i allow . haha

I am amazed by god how he used me to speak to someone important to me =) Rp unit became so small this week i really wonder why .....I want to ask whole of Rp unit how important is your cg to you . For me as you read my post it not as important to me le ....But i will say i will place it first still because only this family will last ... It true i felt this is not really a spirtual family but i wan to be in the process in create one not by name .But by the family action toward one another .

Sometime i wonder what is happen around me which is unseen ...I am quite busybody ...It good to an extent as i ask a lot but i keep something it free- will if ppl share to you .So i am ok with it ...At least i bother to ask. There a reminder for me during service = god meet your need you meet other .It true but how many ppl bother to meet other haha comfort zone ??? I don't know ? haha

2008-04-13T23:38:00.002+08:00

wahhh today ate curry fish head malay style for dinner ..... go home "toliet " think i got gastric sia .... Parents like saying still dare to order chill stuffs . I was like i miss my chills lol haha sian ..haha

2008-04-11T15:50:00.003+08:00

At last first week of sch had ended ,I am super tired .I will say stressing soon .All my team like funny one .All like waiting for each other to lead .Craps I like led for first 2 days and it is not bad only got aim my faci ....haha to faci ask many questions ...To be i find it good as i will improve in my defending skills haha but i thinking i am tiring in defending .Haha waste of time ...But it a skill lol

But today class ended quite early ....Which was good ....Haha One question popped out in my mind today .Why am i a Christian ? Being a free-thinking isnt that cooler .And What is meant by Supporting ? haha I super tired haha I told someone i give myself one month before redeciding in this race or out .That also depend if i dare a not . Haha god showed me thing that i am unexpected le.Let see how many more ......Will i followed the ppl of those leave this group footsteps ??? ....God.. i will see =)

hahaha I felt all alone sometime.....haha I will said I love my family ...They are the one who provided the support i need haha if you based it on men to men ......Spirtual family ... it really depend haha if spirtual family as a whole i say it almost mean nothing to me now ...I treasure ppl as individual now haha as a spirtual family not really as ppl come ppl go....haha Why do i need a spirtual family when i have a family and god with me ....if you say spirtual family help you grow i agree to an extent and i say it bullshit too ...haha do i felt like a tool to other ...i will felt that sometime haha....The funny thing is i having mixed feeling half postive and half negative ....

2008-04-08T17:28:00.002+08:00

I am boring ..................................I am tired .......... The mind is almost dead ..................Limited Break .....gg

2008-04-08T15:07:00.003+08:00

LoL I in school .....lesson is so dumb lol expection so high sia ..maybe i am not good lol haha So many thing is going in my life .....haha it not i dont wan share .....there is sure fears in me when i open my life to other . After share le like all my fault lol if WWJD is not to share i would me more happy .

Ha ha I like so random , talk about school then changed.Today there something interesting that happen .Xiuzhen dropped me a sms "Your road maybe twisited and long .But you gotta keep going on . If you stumble and fall ...dont give up at all ...If you feel low god is here with you " .It is just a sms but i said it came just in time to confort me .

How do we understand men ? It about goin down to their level to understand them. haha come to think of it how you know someone spiritually not doing well .It his/her actions. I think i too open le haha the No CLs in guys group haha cool but it ok I will see wat can i do ...But i see how long can do haha if not I join NP cg try Stopping if you have the power in my life hahaa i might change my mind .haha miss someone ....haha

2008-04-05T23:19:00.003+08:00

Wow today was any interesting day ...at last i took up the courage to share to Andrew what is going on in my life ....I super fearful la ....but at the end i choose to share ...

I share about the areas i struggling now , Trust , Faith Etc haha Sometime i can say i very weak haha it a bit like self-pity but i do faced that too only a while .

When i was young i dont have much self -confidence as in the things i doing . I am always very negative too if you ask ppl my first few shepherd they will all agreed haha but i can say this area had been improving a lot haha the reason is .. the confidence it from god lol

And i will say the most hated test god give me is the test of "obedience"

Is like all the 10 years series lay down in your face and ask you ? HMMMM obeying ? lol

"The two weeks thing " haha dont ask what is that ? if i share to you good if not just pray for me thank =)

Do i wan to Obey ? Hmmmmmm really ah if you ask me i will say "NO" le

I dont wan to obey Wah wahwah dont wan God can i just fail the test lol Fail only wat

I will say it in my Confort Zone and it something i dont wan to Lose haha

But come to think so it ...it may or may not resulted in a lose:lose situation

But again the Win:Win looked greater to me haha I will say "Because you say so I will "It really not easy sia WHy ? you will ask ?? I think ppl who know will know why LOL

I think i will write a long eassy why am i obey ?for myself and maybe to my sheperd haha

I noticed my blog rarely got happy things haha If this post stumble you Thank god I nv stumble more .... I am a human after all =)

I missed My SB "Gary Mokky "haha I will make him popular here LOL

2008-04-03T23:12:00.002+08:00

Random photos .....if you wan to know how my day ? can sms or msn me thx =)